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Patricia Holbrook

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When God Removes People From Your Life

July 15, 2014 by Patricia

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lonely-comfort-at-crossPassage: Judges 7

Key Verse: “The Lord said to Gideon, “I will deliver you with the 300 men who lapped and will give the Midianites into your hands; so let all the other people go, each man to his home.” v.7

 It was Friday night. I absently stared at the TV, thinking about how lonely I felt. Looking through my phone book, I knew that the options were not good. The friends who would be available on a Friday night would quickly offer me a tour back into my life before Christ… Places I knew not to visit anymore.

My new Christian friends were all busy with their husbands and family. It was me, my TV… and… my Bible.

I glanced down and picked it up. A new Christian, I had heard that Jesus was all I needed, but was unsure of how to let Him fill the void. My weekends had been busy for as long as I remembered, filled with friends and many invitations. However, several months earlier, I had attended a retreat that forever changed my life. I surrendered my life to Christ that beautiful September morning and experienced an unprecedented joy and peace. I spent the following weeks and months on a spiritual high, attending a new Christian discipleship class, prayer meetings and various church functions. I had made several new friends, but they were, well… new. And most of them were married, anyway. Loneliness filled my heart on the weekends.

That particular weekend was the hardest of all.

As I held my Bible, tears streamed down my face. One of my best friends of eight years had turned her back on me. We attended college together. I was the friend who would not leave when her dad tragically died. I left my family at Christmas for the first time in 23 years and jumped on a 12-hour bus trip to be beside her that first Christmas after her dad’s accident. I invited her to live with me when she decided to come back to town. We had a great time together for a year. But as I made the choice to follow Christ, she ended our friendship in a very hurtful way.

That was the last drop in the bucket.

“Jesus, I thought you would fill my life, not empty it!” I cried out.

It was there, lying on my couch, that I heard Him whisper in my heart for the first time.

“I am preparing the soil for new sowing. For a new harvest.”

It was then that I saw it. I had a vision.

As in a dream, I saw a large, bare field. The soil showed places where trees once stood. It was desolate-looking. Ugly, even. Then I saw seeds coming down from Heaven, falling inside each hole on the ground. And finally, I saw the same field, green and full of beautiful, tall trees.

“Behold, I am making all things new,” I heard.

Twenty Years have gone by since that day…

And I behold the harvest.

I can close my eyes and see the faces. My husband, our two daughters and wonderful, faithful friends throughout the years, planted in the field of my life. Besides one very best friend from my youth and my immediate family, they are all new. They all have been planted by Yahweh’s faithful hands. And they have flourished and yielded fruits of joy, peace, love, patience… true friendship. True Love.

I stand amazed.

The vision was hard to believe at the time when loneliness filled my days. When God removed what I thought was true love… and those whom I considered real friends. He plucked them all, one by one, and left me wondering whether I’d ever feel loved again.

But before He planted a new harvest in my life, He had to teach me to make Jesus my all in all. He wanted to become my very best friend.

Instead of giving in to the feelings of loneliness and depression, I sought His face. I made the Bible my greatest companion. I woke up in the middle of the night to talk to my Savior and started serving Him at church.

And before I realized it, He started planting beautiful new seeds into my life.

God showed me that, just as He gave Gideon victory over mighty enemies with a small army of faithful servants, His children don’t need 10,000 soldiers to win life’s battles. When God is in control, He weeds out the unfaithful, and fills in the void in our lives with the 300 faithful few. In.His.time.

Gideon was afraid of not having enough. He couldn’t see how he would defeat his powerful enemy with such a small army.

You may not see how your life can continue without a particular person. Or how you can give up your old friends and still have joy.

I challenge you to trust Him.

Trust that He is weeding out the unfaithful, cleaning out the soil, preparing it to yield a new harvest.

All He needs is your heart. Your surrendered trust.

I promise that one day you’ll stand amazed, as you contemplate the lush green fields that Yahweh will plant on your current bare land.

As you give yourself to Him, believe me: He will give it all back to you.

Pressed down, shaken together and running over.

Because that is the kind of Friend He is.

Just trust His pruning. Trust His plucking.

He only cuts out what doesn’t belong, anyway.

 

Verses to Meditate:

“Do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,

Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10 (NASB)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Psalm 27:14 (ESV)

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Filed Under: Blog

About Patricia

Patricia Holbrook is the President of Soaring with Him Ministries, author, columnist, blogger, wife and mom. Her passion is to encourage her audience to "soar above life's circumstances" by the power of God's Word and the Holy Spirit's guidance. She writes about making beauty out of brokenness, trusting God in the dark, the blessings of obedience and her love for the Savior. Among other places, you can find her writing weekly on her blog, www.soaringwithHim.com. on her weekend column for the Atlanta Journal Constitution www.ajc.com, on iDisciple and websites such as LifeLetter Cafe, among others. Patricia is also a national and international speaker for women's events and is currently attending Covington Seminary, where she is enrolled in their Master’s program in Bible Studies.

Comments

  1. Linda Stewart says

    July 15, 2014 at 11:36 pm

    Wow! I just spent my quiet time in God’s word and it was on the same theme of sowing and reaping: Galatians 6:7-10. Your message is so timely and encouraging.

    • Patricia says

      July 16, 2014 at 1:35 am

      Thank you, Linda. It’s only God confirming His work in your heart. God bless!

  2. Joan Brown says

    July 16, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    That was awesome Patricia.

    • Patricia says

      July 16, 2014 at 1:41 pm

      Thank you, Joan!! God bless you,

  3. Martha Orlando says

    July 16, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    What a wondrous vision God gave you so many years back. Personally, I was a mess before I accepted Jesus into my heart. I, too, lost many so-called friends, but all had definitely been for the better. My fields are lush and full of promise because of Him. Would still love to get together when you can, Patricia!
    Many blessings!

    • Patricia says

      July 16, 2014 at 7:33 pm

      Hello, Martha! Thank you for the encouragement. God is so faithful! And Yes, let’s get together… I’ll email you.

      Blessings,

  4. a says

    December 6, 2014 at 2:38 am

    thank u so much!

  5. Jennifer says

    December 15, 2014 at 12:16 am

    This entire year has been filled with God removing friends that I thought were lifetime friends. I read this at the right time. Thank you for your blog!

    • Patricia says

      December 16, 2014 at 9:14 pm

      I’m so thankful that you found us. Keep the faith. God will honor you. You’ll be amazed at how he’ll fill your life with new good, godly friends. Blessings!

  6. Karen says

    January 23, 2015 at 12:43 am

    Several years ago I received a prophetic word in which God told me that people would be removed from my life. This apparently is the year for the fulfillment of that. A long time friendship of 30+ years has dissolved and two ladies groups that I was a part of for many years, I no longer am. The one I just found out about today. It is disbanding because the leader (a dear lady of 89 years old!) has decided to step down. I have been sensing God saying to me what He told you: “But before He planted a new harvest in my life, He had to teach me to make Jesus my all in all. He wanted to become my very best friend”. I am glad your site came up in my Google search. This article has been a blessing and a confirmation! While I am saddened at the loss in my life, I have a sense of excitement and anticipation for what God is going to do in my life! Thank you and God bless you!

    • Patricia says

      February 6, 2017 at 9:26 am

      Thank you for sharing this, Karen! I am so thankful that my story resonates with so many. To God be the glory!

  7. Sharon Crittenden says

    March 3, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    I had a mental breakdown after the death of my mother, I lost my job, I’d had surgery on my knee, lose my insuranse benefits, I gained a lot of weigt, just gave up on life:( 🙁 I thought I had lost everything until, MY LORD AND SAVIOR CAME AND SEEN ABOUT ME……I CONFEESED WITH MY MOUTH……AND HE DID THE REST….ILL TAKE NOTHING FOR MY JOURNEY RIGHT NOW……OUR GOD IS GOOD…HE WILLSHOW UP AND SHOW OUT…PRAISE…GOD….IM BLESSED!!!!

    • Patricia says

      March 4, 2015 at 3:12 pm

      Thank you for your testimony, Sharon. Indeed, God is faithful if only we allow Him to minister to us in our times of trouble. What a beautiful testimony of His grace. God bless you and continue to shine upon you!

  8. nona says

    June 18, 2015 at 6:16 am

    it is really hard to convince myself now that he’s gone from my life. The memories haunts me everyday but i can’t stay in a relationship that leads me to sin. I really do love that man. I know he’s Godly but then i realized that the more i stay,the more i disobey God. Now, i’m doubting if i can still love and be loved but this post gave me hope. God has better plans, it might be so hard for me now but i know He is worth the wait.

    • Patricia says

      June 18, 2015 at 2:30 pm

      I am praying for you right now, that God will give you the strength to obey HIM. I KNOW that He will honor your obedience and willingness to give up something you think is good for His best. I am a living proof that He will give you more than you ask or pray for. Stay faithful! In His great love, Patricia

  9. Kelly says

    June 24, 2015 at 4:22 am

    Thank you so much for this! You describe a very similar experience as what I am currently going through except I am 51, but I keep sensing God telling me that the removal of most of my friends and even family is a cleansing and part of His plan for me. Just today I told God that I trust Him on this, and now He has led me to your post! Wow! Thank you so much! God has blessed me through your writing!

    • Patricia says

      June 24, 2015 at 2:05 pm

      I am so grateful that God used this post to bring you hope and perspective. Just keep trusting Him. You’ll be amazed at what He will do in your life.
      Blessings!

      • Kelly says

        June 24, 2015 at 4:57 pm

        Thank you Patricia! God Bless you !:-)

  10. Lina says

    July 30, 2015 at 8:20 pm

    Wow! This is exactly what I needed to hear. I’m looking for love and keep meeting men who just use me and hurt me to the point that I can no longer trust people. I feel like God has been telling me to search and pursue him instead of looking for love elsewhere and He will send me a mate at the right time. Thank you for your post.

    • Patricia says

      August 11, 2015 at 3:12 pm

      Praise God, Lina! Just obey God and you will see what He will do! By the way, I dedicate an entire chapter on my book to the subject: “When you hang out with the wrong crowd.” See here for info on the book: TWELVE INCHES

  11. Faith says

    August 23, 2015 at 12:28 am

    This is so encouraging. I just lost a dear friend who I felt was entreating and respected my place in God. This is literally the second death of a relationship and its really difficult right now. While I don’t understand and the heartache, emptiness and pain is unbearable ..I trust

    • Patricia says

      August 25, 2015 at 3:33 pm

      Thank you, Faith. Just stay encouraged. when God closes a door, He is faithful to open one much better. And that applies to relationships as well. God bless you!

  12. Anonymous says

    August 29, 2015 at 6:17 am

    I stumbled across this post as I was looking for something that would give me insight on why God removed or is in the process of removing, a close sister in Christ, from my life. Though I’m not having the easiest time with it, I have to trust God that he knows best. Thank you for posting this, it really blessed me.

    • Patricia says

      September 1, 2015 at 3:19 pm

      Thank you so much. I pray you stay encouraged and trusting God. He will be faithful to send you new, wonderful friends! Blessings,

  13. unknown says

    September 1, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    I am 3 months pregnant and my boyfriend left without any reason…he didn’t explain to me anything, I try calling but he does not pick up…for some reason I did not know why he up and left me alone like this …we had plan to have baby together, getting marry was our plan also. But then it only in a night he up and change his mind that he doesn’t wanna take responsibility for this. Now I am left and feel lonely …I am praying to God and I found this website, now I know why he isn’t wanna involved in my life anymore
    .. I know God have a better plan for me and my baby and I know that he remove that dead beat man so in future I can have someone better.

    • Patricia says

      February 6, 2017 at 9:40 am

      Just surrender your life to Jesus, He will guide you and provide for you and your baby! God bless you both!

  14. Shay says

    September 13, 2015 at 2:11 am

    Thank you so much for this website and your blog. I am 53 and I just recently went through a horrible breakup after 3 yrs. I sold my house and moved in with my boyfriend. We were suppose to buy a house together. I was so convicted to do this unmarried and I told him that. So we agreed to just see how it would go living in his house. He believes in living together first, but I knew better in my heart and never had complete peace. I wanted to be married again, but I prayed a lot to God about it. He broke up with me after three months and threw me out at midnight. That was a very low point for me, but God is good and a friend took me in until I got a place, which I did and moved in two weeks later. Then my dear close girlfriend whom I prayed with all the time shut me out of her life and honestly I don’t know why and she wouldn’t tell me. Now I am so alone except for my grown children and grand kids whom I love, but it’s not the same as a mate and best friend. I’ve never lived alone – I had my kids. My youngest moved out bf I sold my house and moved in with my boyfriend. I feel God pulled these two out of my life and wants me alone, but it is getting harder as the days go by. it’s been 6 weeks and I work at the same place as my ex. I have been praying and fasting. I have asked God to forgive me and help me to forgive. How did you handle to lonely nights? No friends? I pray and read the word but it is still hard at times. I thank God for all He has done.

    • Patricia says

      September 15, 2015 at 1:01 am

      Hello, Shay!
      Thank you for reaching out. I am sorry that this is such a hard time in your life. Although God is ever forgiving and will always be able to change the course of your life once you repent from sin, there are always consequences to stepping outside of His perfect will. I understand the pain of being alone. But I also know for a fact that, if you commit your life to following God’s Word and obeying Him, He will be faithful and direct you to the path He has for you. In the meantime, there is no secret recipe for filling in the void. Take this time to draw closer to Him, know Him in a deeper way, love Him with all your heart and mind. Get involved in a local, Bible believing church. God will send you new, godly friends. Fill your mind with His truth. And when your heart and the enemy tells you lies – tell them what you know about your God! You may want to buy my book Twelve Inches – Bridging the Gap between what you know about God and how you feel. It contains my story of many trials and how God taught me how to rely on Him through it all. You can get it on our website, Barbes & Nobles or Amazon. May God guide you and bless you!

      • Shay says

        September 16, 2015 at 7:04 pm

        Thank you Patricia for taking the time to respond to me. God bless you!

  15. Debie says

    August 29, 2016 at 10:09 am

    This is so amazing. I have been asking God so many questions about my past relationship of 8years. It came to an end just like that. Wondering why he would bring it to end.

    • Patricia says

      February 6, 2017 at 9:43 am

      Hello, Debie! God’s ways are mysterious, but they are perfect. Sometimes He allows these things to happen so we turn to Him and make Him first in our lives. He wants to be the Lover of our soul and He longs to fill our every void. May He guide you! Blessings,

  16. TanyaHutchinson says

    October 4, 2016 at 4:30 pm

    I have experienced so much between last week and this week. I feel that I give of myself to my friends and family, I listen to them and there problems and when they need me for anything I’m there for them. I feel alone sometimes as if no one cares about me our how I feel. I have noticed within this week fiends that I cared so much about did so much for being removed out of my life acting funny with me, I feel lost and hurt but I prayed and asked God to remove people, things out of my life that don’t mean me any good. I find myself crying and hurting all the time.

    • Patricia says

      February 6, 2017 at 9:44 am

      Tanya, God may be removing them from your life so that He can fill it back with more faithful, godly friends! Trust Him! God bless,

  17. MercyBee says

    October 29, 2016 at 8:07 pm

    I have been dating someone, and he changed on the way. He doesn’t even call me or text and everytime i see him in the campus i just can’t hold my tears. He left without a goodbye. I feel like i”ll never be loved.

    • Patricia says

      February 6, 2017 at 9:47 am

      You WILL be loved! When I ended my relationship with my boyfriends of 4 years, I thought I’d never love again. BUT GOD!! I surrendered my life to Him, sought Him with all my heart and mind and, in His perfect time, He gave me the desire of my heart in my husband. We have been married for 17 years and he is everything I’ve ever needed or dreamed of. Just trust God and surrender to His plan! Blessings,

  18. Devine Favor says

    November 8, 2016 at 2:58 am

    Thank you Patricia for sharing your story. It really was so helpful for such a time as this. God is removing people from my life that won’t produce anything healthy and He will create a harvest of plenty for me, in due season; It is His will for my life, although I lay here and cry with the pain and the loss of certain people, I feel grateful that He is working and healing me in the midst of my pain. How perfect it was to run into your message! There was a brokenness I felt in reading this but there was also a healing and a hoping for bigger and better things to come.

    • Patricia says

      February 6, 2017 at 9:48 am

      I am so glad that you read the spirit behind this message, Devine. Our God is so faithful. He only allows things like that to happen because He has better plans. I am a walking testimony of that! God bless you, sister.

  19. Rebecca says

    February 6, 2017 at 9:10 am

    Thank you very much for this.. I really needed this.. God also revealed to me a similar vision & now I understand it & I understand why these things are happening to me.. God bless you.. Thank you soo much!! This had me in tears but I’m truly glad at the same time..

    • Patricia says

      February 6, 2017 at 9:50 am

      Praise God that my testimony brought you hope, Rebecca! There is a much better, fuller, more joyful life on the other side of God removing certain people from our lives. He just wants our trust and surrender. God bless you!!!

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