Each morning, with careful attention I gingerly turned over and reached for my Bible as to not disturb the joy of the motionless night I just had — a routine I repeated throughout the summer of 1995.
When I was pregnant with my oldest son I was diagnosed with an inner ear disorder, Ménière’s disease. “They” (the medical powers that be) thought it was caused by a viral infection I had in college. Wherever it came from, the long and short of it is, it made me dizzy.
In June of 1995 we had just moved from Tallahassee back to Jacksonville and I had a bout of Ménière’s I couldn’t shake. It wasn’t full on vertigo this time but more like a steady unsteady — like a feeling of no gravity —moon walking even. Trying to take care of two little boys and a husband while feeling more like a person who was floating about and less like one who’s feet were firmly planted on the floor was miserable to say the least. My only relief came with sleep and the words that were in my Bible just an arm’s length away. Without lifting my head I could pull them close. Each morning I’d drink in and savor the hope that would get me through those long summer days.
“To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill” (Psalm 3:4).
“He answers me” was a promise I held on to. But when Lord?
Have you ever asked that question: “When Lord?”
Morning after morning I called out to God for healing, waiting expectantly as Psalm 5:3 says. Give ears to my words, God. Then I’d go to another Psalm and pray, “Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer” (Psalm 4:1).
The words from my Bible were soothing. They were my certain in the midst of the uncertain. My stability when everything felt unstable. They gave me the strength to sustain me in the wait. Click To TweetDuring what felt like my endless season of wait, I desperately sought out and connected with others suffering from the same dizzy disorder and then started a support group. In doing so I had the opportunity to share my faith with each member. I also researched and found a physician in the area who specialized in the disease and connected each member with him.
At the end of the summer my balance returned, ever so slowly, much like a fog that lifts with the morning sun.
Would I have gone as far to start a support group if I had had an instant healing? Would I have meditated on God’s words with such vigor? Would I have drawn as close to Him if I did not have those days of wait?
God never wastes a pain. For each one He finds its purpose.
Are you in-between place, anticipating an answer to a prayer? Call out to God in the morning. Find your rest in His promises for God will deliver. Let your anxious heart be calmed for He redeems every situation.
“Give ears to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.” Psalm 5:1-3 (NIV)
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Christy,
I’ve gone through several long, painful, periods of healing. If healing had come over night, I probably would have gone about life in much the same way. But when you can’t walk for two months, you get the opportunity to dive into His Word like never before. These times can be times of drawing near to Him in deeper reliance and dependence. Thanks for sharing your story.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Gosh, Bev that’s right, you’ve just been through a whole mess of stuff. When we were living in Tampa, the everyday difficulties we were encountering threw me into the arms of Jesus so much that I was thankful for whatever new problem would arise just to talk to Him about it. In a weird way, I guess that’s being thankful in all circumstances.
Bless ~
I love the way you took action and set up a community that would help others as well as yourself. I’m very encouraged by your example. Thanks for sharing your story.
Michele, God has put me in such a position as this many times. God is intentional and all knowing. He knows what we will do even when we don’t.
What a challenging disease, Christy! And at such an important time too. My husband has bouts of vertigo here and there and “moonwalking” is what the attempts at balancing tend to look like. Thank you for this message about waiting- “God never wastes a pain” is a promise I’ll hold onto!
Bethany, this post started out as something else but God led me to write about this. Hopefully it helps someone.
Christy, I have been in this place any number of times. I just wish that when the next time comes I will remember how God worked in the situation. I am such a slow learner at this. Thanks for such a good reminder that God doesn’t waste a pain and that He will work in His time frame, not ours.
Janet, I’ve learned that we all learn as we go. It takes me several times to learn the simplest of lessons God is trying to teach me.
Thanks for sharing your story! Waiting is so hard at the time, but it is encouraging when we can look back and see how God was working good in those times.
Amen Lesley!
Christy, this afternoon I am grateful to have read your post. No matter the pain, it is never wasted when we allow God to work in us, changing us and using the time for His purposes. Thank you for this reminder today!
Joanne, I need to be reminded too!
Bless~
We never fully understand why God answers in the ways and times he does, but occasionally he does give us these glimpses! I so appreciate them. Thanks for sharing. It increases our faith to hear these kinds of stories.
Aren’t the glimpses great? They do build our faith and I love it when I get to share about them.
“God never wastes our pain. He always finds a purpose for it” Thank you for this lovely reminder. Our pain can become something good if we allow God to work through it. I needed to hear this again and I’m so glad I read your post.
First time on your blog and first time linking up here.
Happy to meet you.
Cheers
Thanks Grace. I agree with you. When we recognize God at work it helps.
I agree God never wastes the pain, but we have to be sure we don’t waste it. We have to be open to allowing God to work through us.
God has a purpose for all our “waiting,” doesn’t He? Even when we don’t understand it, we can choose to trust Him and wait patiently and expectantly. Thanks for the reminder!