We all have a story—a story God has written on the pages of our lives so we can retell it to the benefit of others and to God’s glory.
One of the first posts I wrote, way back in the day, was a tongue in cheek article about anxiety. I can tease about myself but for most people struggling with anxiety it’s no laughing matter. It’s debilitating.
I gave a talk this summer in which I shared part of my story that had to do with panic and peace.
Two words as far from each other as the east is from the west.
For me, anxiety was just part of my life, my journey through this world. When I stepped off the stage I was taken aback at how many others were on a similar journey still seeking answers on how to daily win the battle with the beast.
As I read today’s lesson on mental health in Rick Warren’s Transformed devotional, I was reminded of this familiar verse:
“Be anxious for nothing but in everything with prayer, petition, and thanksgiving, let your request be known to God and the peace of God which passes all understanding will keep your hears and minds safe in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7
For the longest time I didn’t do this verse well.
Let me get you up to speed. In case you didn’t catch it earlier,
I have a panic disorder.
There – I said it. Actually it’s not hard to say. Gone are the days where people whispered such things. And yes, I’ve had it since I was a little girl. I’m not sure where it came from. Maybe it’s in my genes, or perhaps it was the loud atmosphere in my childhood home. We were yellers. Lot’s of tension. Let’s just leave it at that.
Anxiety manifests itself differently in children than adults and it wasn’t until I was in college that I had my first full-blown panic attack. Although I didn’t recognize it as such. I just thought I might have a little bit of “crazy” in me.
Special isn’t it?
I’d have seasons of attacks separated by as much as a year or more. I remember before I got married thinking about how I was going to explain my “crazy” attacks to my future husband. But I didn’t have to. The stress of a new marriage brought them in to full view. Thank you Jesus! I mean really, thank you Jesus, because I was able to get a proper diagnosis and solutions on how to cope.
Though now I could control the attacks for the most part (they make drugs for that,) generalized anxiety continued to plague me well into my early 40’s.
I knew the all familiar verse in Philippians quoted above but I didn’t know why it didn’t work for me.
Early on I started naming it and claiming it. I prayed it. I memorized it. I repeated it. I beat myself over the head with it, as if it was some kind of incantation that would work like magic.
But nothing. Not. A. Thing. Changed for me.
These were empty words on a lifeless page. I didn’t know how to apply the Word to my life.
That is, until the importance of my thought life and focus was explained to me. Yes, peace comes with an attitude of gratitude. But hear me when I say, this is not just about please and thank you. It’s about thanking God for something you can’t see and don’t know exists yet. It’s one thing to speak the words thank you, it’s quite another to feel them. In order to feel them you have to trust the One to whom they’re being given. And that requires a relationship.
As I drawn closer to Jesus, now I don’t just thank Him for what I can see, but I thank Him and trust Him for what I can’t—the place of anxiousness, the space I can’t control—the chasm between “Dear God, help me” and my last Amen. It’s there where the Power is at work. When we pray, God sets a plan into motion.
And peace comes with the belief… it is done.
It is finished— taken care of.
My worry was nailed to the cross 2,000 years ago. I can walk away and trust His will is better than mine. I can let Him work out what I can’t do and turn my focus on what I can. Click To TweetAnd that’s better than an incantation. More powerful than magic. And way better than a little crazy.
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Christy,
Thanks for speaking up! Having lived a life with OCD anxiety and depression (they seem to come hand in hand), I get it. You wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy. I need to take medicine for my crazy, but it enables me to take in God’s truth, whereas I couldn’t before. I like your thought about thanking the Lord for handling the things we can’t control….He’s already there…He goes before us and comes behind us and hems us in with His love and control. Let’s erase this stigma together!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Bev, you write the most thoughtful comments. Yes, let’s wipe this stigma out by speaking up and reaching out to others and sharing with them that God’s got handled! Amen.
Christy, thanks for this needful reminder that my faith is linked to a reality that actually happened in history. So often my fears are linked to something misty and undocumented, maybe a shadow that I think I see or expect in the future. May we find grace to live in the known and to cling to His faithfulness.
Such wise words Michele! Thanks!
Christy, I was just studying this verse last night with my guy! I love when words line up like that. Thanks for sharing about the truth of gratitude and finding peace in what Christ has done! So glad for what He has done in your life!
That is cool when God brings the same subjects up over and over again. He’s talking to us!
Christy I love how God leads us to share our stories – His stories and how He has brought us through.
Yep, He writes His stories on the pages of our hearts.
Bless~
Thanks for this post, Christy! I’ve had seasons of my adult life when I had panic attacks. While there’s no rhyme and reason for times anxiety and panic hit. Some cases are explainable. Like when I slid off the highway on an ice and snow covered mountain once, I had a full-blown panic attack. Now, I pray against fear when driving or traveling. And if it starts snowing or even raining hard, fear creeps in. This is more common than we think and the enemy uses it for his pleasure and delight as he battles against us. But this is a powerful line as it relates to the Philippians passage, ” It’s about thanking God for something you can’t see and don’t know exists yet.” I love that!
Yes Karen. I think too many people just think that saying thank you will cut it and give you peace. But it’s the belief behind the thank you that gives it power.
Christy what a fabulous post! Love how you handled such a difficult issue with grace, honesty and a little bit of humor. My favorite combination
Aww, your’e too kind Gretchen . Thank you.
Way better!
Amen Susan! ❤️
Quoting Scripture works but the more we learn the more the enemy attacks, only His love can overcome all that anxiety.
A good word Rebecca!
Thank you for being so transparent. Peace can come when we trust and know He has given us His power through the Holy Spirit. Nothing is too big for our God! Yet, in our circumstances of our flesh this is not always easy. I have the Phil verse on my wall, yet still often fall into fear when I don’t feel I have control. But trust and His power have been part of my bible readings lately! I know that is God working out all for His holy purpose.
Lynn, everything you said is true. We always feel like we need to be in control. The funny thing is, we never really are. I blog my God things and when I’m doubting I go back and read them and see where God is faithful.
What a valuable lesson! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing, yes life can be overwhelming in so many things…anxiety disorders can be so debilitating…but you have shared the key…really immersing ourselves in God, while getting professional help as well.
Jennifer
You know Jennifer, the beautiful thing is, every day an opportunity for a deeper relationship with Jesus starts over again.
Christy, thank you for your transparency! You are definitely not alone. Many, many people suffer from anxiety…but thanks be to God, there is the hope of peace, in the One who calms the storms.
Attitude of gratitude- love it!
Amen sister!