I Love You… (As Long as It Does Not Cost Me Much)

Rio de Janeiro, 1962. A very talented young artist attended the Fine Arts School of Rio, the most renowned art school in South America. He shared the studio with some of the heirs of Brazil’s most prominent families. He moved to Rio from a small town in South Brazil in order to help his mother, a young widow who lost all income when her husband died prematurely. He was offered a job in Rio in exchange for a small salary, housing and the tuition money to pay for his classes at the Fine Arts Institute.

Regardless of his modest upbringing, his talent stood out among the eager, fame-seeking students at the school. In one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments, the Ambassador of France in Brazil recognized my father’s talent and offered him a scholarship of one year to learn from Paris’ crème de la crème. This unique opportunity was the fulfillment of my father’s wildest dreams. His refined taste for arts yearned for the chance of studying among the best teachers in the world.

As everyone around him watched in disbelief, daddy said No to his dream. The chance to sit at tables in the Champs-Élysées or stare at the masterpieces of the Louvre would have to wait. Daddy had to take care of his mom. He chose to stay.

“At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her.” Ruth 1:14

When I was preparing to teach the book of Ruth to a Bible study group, my first idea was to focus on the well-known correlation between Boaz’ redemptive act when marrying Ruth, the Moabite, and the redemptive work of Christ on the cross. But as I started reading the book, something else caught my heart: the display of sacrificial, “agape” love first by Naomi… and then Ruth.

Agape is one of the Koine Greek words translated into English as love, particularly appropriated in Christian theology as the love of Christ for humankind. it also translates as the love that men demonstrate for God and for each other. It represents divine, unconditional and self-sacrificing love.

In an act of pure selfless, Agape love, Naomi suggested that her daughters-in-law should go back to their families.

Naomi knew that these young ladies were her only hope for provision; whether by remarrying or by working to put food on her table. And yet, she insisted that they should leave her. With this selfless act, Naomi became an example of sacrificial love engraved in the pages of Scriptures forever. She thought of her daughter-in-laws’ well-being before her own.

In the next scene of this drama, we see the two younger women weeping after their mother-in-law tells them to go home. Both Orpah and Ruth cared for Naomi; however, as each responded to their mother-in-law’s plea, we realize the true depth of their love.

Orpah took her mother-in-law’s advice, kissed Ruth and Naomi good-bye and did what many of us would do: She took care of herself. She did what made sense. There’s no question Orpah loved Naomi, BUT… she was scared… or she was not willing to sacrifice her own future for someone else’s well-being.

And then there was Ruth.

“Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the Lord do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me.”  Ruth 1:16-17

Ruth would not have it. She was going to follow Naomi to the ends of the earth. She would not leave her mother-in-law alone to fend for herself. Her commitment to sacrifice her own future and well-being in order to save Naomi resounds as one of history’s most memorable acts of sacrificial love.

Sacrifice? Me??

Ruth set forth towards her new destiny with no sense of self-preservation.

Her story challenges my heart greatly. Because, truth be told, “love” is a pretty corrupted word these days. If the person is lovable, we love them. If they do something to hurt us or if their personality just does not match our expectations, well, we may love them, BUT…

Honestly, how many times do we start conversations like this: “I love so-and-so, BUT….”? And yet, Jesus demonstrated that true love is not a mere feeling; it is an act of selfless sacrifice.

Just watch Him washing the disciples’ feet while they were on a major ego trip, arguing about who would be the greatest in the kingdom, oblivious and insensitive to the fact that He was about to die for them (John 13:1-12), knowing that they were going to abandon or betray them, one by one!

Did they deserve His love? Absolutely not. And yet, He kept serving and loving them. And when He was finished washing their feet, His words summarized how He expects His followers to love one another:

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” John 13:34 

Jesus’ love was certainly not based on emotions. As a matter of fact, I am sure he was deeply sad while washing their feet, so great was their selfishness.

But even in His sorrow, He served them anyway… Because He loved them, in spite of their mess.

Yes, Jesus loves me, in spite of my mess. And He calls me to love, even the most unlovable, in spite of their mess. Click To Tweet

Here’s the good news: God always rewards sacrificial love.

Naomi’s selflessness and Ruth’s sacrifice were rewarded as Boaz chose to redeem Ruth and took her as his wife.

Jesus’ sacrificial love took Him to the cross to end the sting of death, giving eternal life to all who trust Him as their Savior.

And I am happy to tell you that my daddy has been rewarded with a good, healthy and full life, as well as three children and four grand-children who love him deeply.

That is exactly what we talked about as we looked out the windows of the Jules Verne, one of the restaurants in the Eiffel Towel, as we gazed at the City of Light in its glory. My husband and I took him to visit Paris in 2004, 42 years after he sacrificed for his family.

As he looked out the window, with eyes filled with tears, he held my hand and said:

“I would not have had it any other way, love. Because I am here with you.”

Daddy’s girl smiled. She knows it is true.