On my way to clean up after weeding, one late summer day, I yanked up a dead shrub. My shins suddenly burned like fire. I looked down and gasped. Scores of yellow jackets clung to my legs. I wondered if I was going to die.
That experience left me reluctant to garden in shorts and T-shirts. Ski masks and thick layers seemed safer. But heat and humidity changed my mind.
As a young believer, I thought mature faith protected us from emotional pain. Hurts, insults, and disappointments would ping off those full of faith.
While God provides spiritual armor, I don't believe the insulated Christian is biblical—or desirable. @DebbieWWilson Click To TweetI was in high school when my mother died of cancer. My family put on a brave face during her long illness and pretended she would get better.
Years later, I realized how lonely that must have been for her. Instead of shielding us, our layers of pretense only added regret to our sorrow.
When I learned Daddy had terminal cancer, I prayed it would be different. I’d learned that masks, whether of denial, humor, or strength, don’t protect us from loss and pain.
On his deathbed, Daddy spoke of his pending death. We said good-bye and talked about the promised reunion we’ll share in heaven. We named family members we looked forward to seeing again. We laughed through our tears as we anticipated what we hoped to do in heaven.
That vulnerable exchange of grief and hope was one of the sweetest times in my life. And though I still grieved losing Daddy, sharing our pain sweetened the bitterness of my loss.
A man whose child was hospitalized with leukemia spoke at our church. He boasted, that while the medical staff expressed concern for his lack of grief, his faith made him impervious to pain. Denial is certainly a part of grief, but as I observed this stoic father, I thought how lonely his wife and family must feel in the sorrow his daughter’s suffering surely brought.
The Apostle Paul didn’t deny his sufferings. His faith gave him the courage to open his heart and receive God’s comfort. His experience qualified him to speak about the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort (2 Cor. 1:3).
He told the Corinthians about the great pressure that caused him to “despair even of life” (2 Cor. 1:8 NASB).
We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced” (2 Cor. 2:8 NIV).
Paul even cataloged some of his sufferings in 2 Corinthians 11 and 12.
It’s wise to be aware of yellow jacket nests. And long sleeves and gloves are appropriate for gardening, especially around thorns. But ski masks and thick clothing aren’t practical for warm weather yard work.
In the same way, not everyone can handle my pain, but being honest with God, myself, and some trusted friends is healing and a lot healthier than suffocating under layers of self-protection.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matt. 5:4 NIV).
Faith may not keep us from experiencing pain, but it comforts those who mourn. Is there a grief or a pending loss you need to mourn?
Faith may not keep us from experiencing pain, but it comforts those who mourn. #RechargeWednesday Click To TweetLINKUP PARTY opens at 6 am EST!
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Love your post today Debbie! Makes me think of 2 Corinthians 1:4: “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (NLT)
Thank you, Laura. And I love that Scripture.
Oh, Debbie, thank you for this strong and bracing truth. It’s true– we are not exempt from the suffering that comes with life on a fallen planet, and yet we “mourn not even as others who have no hope.” We are here to show the world the reality of another world that holds our truest affection and fuels our hope.
Michele, I always appreciate your way with words. “We are here to show the world the reality of another world that holds our truest affection and fuels our hope.” Yes!
Thanks for this truth today, Debbie! It’s a comfort knowing that even though faith doesn’t protect us from all pain, the Shepherd walks with us through the valleys!
Stacey, as you remember, Paul wanted to know Christ, in the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His suffering. We tend to skip that part. 🙂 You are right, He walks with us.
Debbie, it is true – we are not exempt from pain. I am so grateful that during those painful times, our faith not only the strength and comfort that we need in the present, but also the hope we need for the future.
Joanne, how can we live without hope? Yes, our faith covers yesterday, today, and tomorrow! Thanks for that wonderful reminder.
I can’t imagine going through the pains and trials of my life without Jesus. laurensparks.net
Me either, Lauren.
Such an important message Debbie. We are to walk along side others in their struggles and pain. And allow others to walk along beside us. Paul also asked to be prayed for often! Never does it show a lack of faith to grieve or share our struggles. Instead it allows others to comfort us, showing and being God’s love.
Lynn, I agree. It takes courage to be vulnerable. And Paul was full of faith and courage.
I’m so sorry that you had to experience such pain early on. 🙁 I lost both my parents in 2010 and even as an adult with grown kids, it was difficult. This is true: “In the same way, not everyone can handle my pain, but being honest with God, myself, and some trusted friends is healing and a lot healthier than suffocating under layers of self-protection.” Amen.
Lisa, I have a friend whose mother is in her ninties whose health has recently taken a decline. It has shaken my friend. It’s never easy to lose a parent. What hope the gospel provides! We will see our loved ones in Christ again.
Ooooh, Debbie! That story about the yellow jackets gave me goosebumps. I hate yellow jackets with a passion. You certainly got my attention. Of course, you are right. God does not promise us a pain-free life, but He does promise us that He will be there with us through all life’s hardships and joys.
Laurie, I hate them too! And am thankful God walks with us through life’s challenges—and even works them together for good.
Yellow jackets – they reminded you that doing the right thing in faith can be painful. I think sometimes we anticipate that our faith walk will be smooth and as the yellow jackets showed you that’s not the case. Hardships teach us and shape us.
I appreciated this insight.
Thank you, Nylse. I’m thankful God uses our hardships for our good.
I knew of your own health challenges and losses, Debbie, but did not know about the losses of your mom and dad. I thought I was young when my mom passed (38), but being in high school when your mom died, really puts it in perspective! How hard that must have been for you. Yet your faith has been strong in these trials and made stronger because of them! I needed this message today, so I thank you and Patricia for sharing it!
Thank you, Beth. Yes, losing my mom certainly shook my world. I wish my children could have known their grandparents. They will one day!
Salve for the soul. Thank you for this wisdom and beautiful honesty, Debbie!
Thank you, Bethany.
This is a great post, Debbie! I think sometimes we can feel that admitting our grief or struggles is showing a lack of faith when it’s not. It’s so much better if we’re honest about our pain while still holding onto the hope we have in Christ.
I agree, Lesley. God rewards our honesty.
Powerful analogy to the yellow jackets. I cringed at the thought. I’m sorry you’ve had to lose both parents and have gone through that grief and pain. My dad died eight years ago and it’s still hard sometimes on holidays or his birthday or the day of his passing. But I hold on to memories and thankful that although he was an atheist for years, he did come to know Jesus after I prayed for him 16 years.
Hugs!
Wow, Karen. That is a beautiful testimony of hope for those still praying. Thank you, friend.