“If you don’t hit pause long enough to consider the direction in which you are parenting, you may wake up one day to the realization that you parented in the wrong direction.” — Andy Stanley

Am I getting parenting right?

There’s no question that every parent has wondered about the answer to this question at some point while raising their children.

You may still be holding your first baby, wondering if your approach to meeting and caring for their needs is the best.

Or perhaps you have a toddler pushing all boundaries (and your buttons), and you are unsure whether your discipline method is working.

It could be that your teenager entered that stage when the loving child you had a year ago is now closed off, shutting you out of their life.

And you wonder. “What am I doing?” or, worse yet, “What am I doing wrong?”

This insecurity invariably grabs hold of every well-meaning parent.

When my children were young, and we were trying to teach them discipline and respect, I often wondered how to be effective while preserving a healthy relationship.

Unfortunately, the fear of becoming over-lenient would sometimes translate into some “because I said so” moments, which, looking in retrospect, I am not proud of.

But I know I am not alone. Most well-meaning parents err in their quest to do it right. That happens because we often and inadvertently repeat patterns seen or experienced in our home environment. However, some of us intentionally change certain things we experienced growing up. I know I did.

Most well-meaning parents err in their quest to do it right. That happens because we often and inadvertently repeat patterns seen or experienced in our home environment. @AndyStanley@sandrawstanley #andystanley #sandrastanley…
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The story is not different for Atlanta-based author and pastor Andy Stanley, who, together with his wife Sandra, decided early on in their parenting years to establish goals and raise their kids with their future relationship with them in mind. For years, they have compiled information gathered from counseling families, learning from mentors, and raising their three children. The result is a must-read book for every parent: “Parenting: Getting It Right,” released in January by Zondervan.

The Stanleys are the parents of three adult children who, as Andy says “still enjoy being around us.”

Isn’t that our ultimate goal?

As a mother of a teenager and an adult, that is undoubtedly my biggest desire for my relationship with our daughters.

Indeed, nothing fills my heart with joy better than when I get a text from our adult daughter saying: “Mom, guess what? I gotta tell you something.”

She still wants to be around mom and dad and loves hanging out with her “little” sister. I believe that happens because, even though we have certainly made many mistakes, like the Stanleys, we prioritized preserving a healthy relationship above everything else. The result is lingering discipline taught through life lessons instead of harsh punishment and, better yet, children who still like us.

The Stanleys call the concept their “North Star” — the one thing that kept their minds and hearts anchored when parenting their children through what they call “The Four Stages of Parenting”: discipline (0-5 years old), Training (5-12), Coaching (12-18), and Friendship (18-plus years old).

In our interview, we discussed the challenges and rewards of parenting with the relationship in mind.

Among other things, it takes understanding each child’s unique personality to improve communication and changing how to approach discipline to help a child develop character rather than simply following rules.

This idea of parenting reminds me of how Jesus guided his flock while walking on earth. He was all about building and restoring relationships. He taught while bridging the gap between rules and heart. He saw each person and loved them uniquely. He disciplined to guide, not to judge. And thus, he showed the love of a Father who wants us to remain close to His heart, even when the world tries to pull us away.

He was all about building and restoring relationships. He taught while bridging the gap between rules and heart. He saw each person and loved them uniquely. He disciplined to guide, not to judge. He showed the love of a Father who…
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Are you parenting in the right direction? Will your children still want to hang out, even when they don’t have to be around? These are questions worth asking. With God’s help and sound resources, it’s never too late to change the course.

Find out more about the Stanleys’ book at andystanley.com/. For the full interview, visit God-Sized Stories with Patricia Holbrook on YouTube and via Podcast.

Patricia Holbrook is a columnist, author, podcaster and international speaker. This article was originally published in her column for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Saturday – March 25, 2023. Click HERE to find it on the AJC’s website.

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Atlanta. Home of Margaret Mitchell, Martin Luther King Jr., Ted Turner, and Kanye West.

Coca-Cola, UPS, Delta Airlines and Home Depot are only a few of the Fortune 500 companies headquartered in this great city. Our town harbors the busiest airport in the world and is also home to the 1996 Olympic games. These facts are widely known and certainly contribute to the charisma of this beautiful metropolis.

But a fact that is not widely known outside of Christian circles is that some of the most influential Christian organizations and leaders of our time started their ministry in Atlanta. Names such as Dr. Charles Stanley (In Touch Ministries), his son Andy Stanley (North Point Ministries), Louie Giglio (Passion City Church) and Dr. Michael Youssef (Leading the Way) stand among prominent Christian leaders whose ministries flourished from the Peach State and into the world.

This week, we said goodbye to one of those men: Ravi Zacharias. The Indian-born Canadian-American Christian apologist established his worldwide ministry’s headquarters in our city, from where he led a team of nearly 100 speakers around the world. The primary mission of his ministry is “to reach and challenge those who shape the ideas of a culture with the credibility of the Gospel of Jesus Christ,” with a vision focused on “a fivefold thrust of evangelism, apologetics, spiritual disciplines, training, and humanitarian support (…)”

Zacharias was born in Madras, India. He was still a young boy when he moved to Delhi. Although his family was Anglican, Zacharias identified as a “skeptic” until the age of 17, when he became a Christian after trying to commit suicide. While he lay in a hospital bed, a Christian worker, a Christian worker brought him a Gideon New Testament. Zacharias was so weak from the dehydration after swallowing poison that he could not raise his arm. The worker directed Zacharias’ mom to read from John 14, which contains the words of the resurrected Christ to Thomas, one of the disciples. When sharing his testimony, Zacharias said that Jesus’ words in verse 19 touched him as an invitation to shift his life’s paradigm: “Because I live, you also will live.”

Zacharias often said that day was vivid in his mind: “The power of the word of God cracked open the encrusted heart of a young man who never had the wisdom to open it before. And I began to pray, ‘Lord, if you are the Lord of life, take me out of this hospital room. I will leave no stone unturned in my pursuit of truth.’”

'The power of the word of God cracked open the encrusted heart of a young man who never had the wisdom to open it before.' A tribute to Ravi Zacharias @AJC @RaviZacharias #RaviZacharias #ThankyouRavi #apologetics
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With a renewed purpose and committed to his promise, Zacharias rose from the ashes to dedicate the next nearly six decades of his life to preach the gospel and equip others to defend the Christian faith.

My appreciation of Zacharias’ ministry is entirely personal. Like Zacharias, I was once a skeptic as well. I became a Christian at 25 by blindly putting my trust in Jesus, but (in my mind) that did not mean that I would accept every doctrine and belief indiscriminately. And so, the following years were dedicated to pursuing answers to many questions in my down-to-earth, pragmatic mind.

Zacharias’ ministry’s emphasis in apologetics and unwavering focus on spiritual disciplines helped many Christians like me to become “prepared to give a reason for the hope that is within us,” as the Apostle Peter admonishes Christ’s followers to do.

Ravi Zacharias' ministry's emphasis in apologetics helped many skeptics become 'prepared to give a reason for the hope that is within us.' 1 Peter 3:5 @AJC @RaviZacharias #RaviZacharias #ThankyouRavi #apologetics
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True faith is indeed blind. But sound and unwavering faith must be built on facts to thrive. Zacharias dedicated his life to showing the world that the same belief that saved a young 17-year-old from the miry pit of self-loathing and despair can withstand the toughest philosophical attacks. In this day and age, when a biblical worldview is repeatedly assaulted and questioned at every turn, Zacharias stood as a man capable of debating life’s most profound existential questions with kindness, and yet tenaciously defending God’s word. It was a beautiful thing to watch.

True faith is indeed blind. But sound and unwavering faith must be built on facts to thrive. A Tribute to Ravi Zacharias for the @AJC @RaviZacharias #RaviZacharias #ThankyouRavi #apologetics
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May God bring the Zacharias family and friends peace and comfort, knowing that his legacy will remain as steady and alive as the faith he vowed to defend.

This article was originally published in Patricia Holbrook’s column for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Saturday – May 23, 2020. Read it on the AJC website: HERE

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LINKUP is open! Please join me in sharing a tribute to a faithful servant of God, #RaviZacharias. Thank you, Ravi, for your impact in our world for Christ. Join us & share your blog!
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I was new to the Christian faith when my husband and I joined First Baptist Atlanta in 2000. I had just moved to America the year before, and those first years away from family and friends were extremely difficult. Although I had broken the language barrier long before moving to the U.S., I found myself fighting feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, while immersing in a new culture, far from all familiar faces and surroundings. Charles Stanley’s practical Bible teachings every Sunday helped me find peace, joy and a renewed sense of purpose in that new chapter in my life.

In October 2016, Charles Stanley released his much-anticipated autobiography “Courageous Faith.” I was one of the first in line on the day of his book signing at FBA. That very afternoon, I started reading about the life of the man whose ministry impacted my faith walk forever.

Charles Stanley’s autobiography is undoubtedly the most selfless memoir I’ve ever read. From beginning to end, as he recounts each story, each trial and victory, he points the reader to the Author and Sustainer of his faith – Jesus Christ. One cannot turn the last page of the book without realizing that, in his darkest hours, when enemies came against him and fear would threaten to steal his peace, Charles Stanley’s response was always the same: He fought each battle on his knees, surrendering each trial to God, and trusting His Maker with the outcome.

Whether you share his beliefs or not, one cannot read his life story without at least becoming puzzled by this man’s faith – where many would question God or give up, Charles Stanley pressed on. The result is evident and unquestionable: His courageous faith weaved a thread of victory through the hardest circumstances, as his ministry kept growing, stronger than ever before.

As I read his book and later watched his son, Andy, recount how his father’s unwavering faith shaped his own, I found myself challenged, inspired and grateful to realize that my pastor has truly lived up to the principles by which he proclaims. Even when obeying did not make any sense. Even when it cost him much.

Andy Stanley writes, in the foreword of his father’s auto-biography: “Dad never ran from trouble or the trials of life, and that made an incredible impact on my sister and me. In my personal life and ministry, my takeway from having Dr. Charles Stanley as my father was that everyone can trust God with every outcome (…)”

During the interview, when his son asked him about retirement, Charles Stanley’s easy laughter filled the room. Anyone sitting on the pews of FBA knows better: He doesn’t believe in it. “Retirement is not anywhere in the Bible,” he says. He believes there will always be work to do for the Kingdom, and he intends to continue doing his part until God tells him otherwise, or “calls him home.”

“Obey God and leave all the consequences to Him.” That is one of Charles Stanley’s most repeated “Life Principles.” That is his life song. It has also become mine. So today, I cheer this man of God on, together with millions of people throughout the globe who listen to his voice on more than 2,600 radio and television outlets, translated to over 50 languages: Keep on preaching, pastor. We are listening. Thank you for a life of courageous, unwavering faith and obedience. Thank you for teaching us that God rewards those whose hearts are fully committed to Him. Thank you for opening the Word of God each Sunday, unapologetically proclaiming Its truths.

An international chorus of believers sings to you today: Happy 85th birthday, Charles Stanley! May God continue to bless and guide you, dear pastor.

Join the celebration at First Baptist Atlanta on Sept. 24 during both service hours: 9 and 10:45a.m. You can watch the interview on every market where InTouch is broadcast starting Sept. 23.

This article was originally published in Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution on Saturday – September 15, 2017.

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I am not a stranger to legal courts. A daughter of a defense attorney in Brazil, I grew up watching dad buried in countless books and evidence documents, carefully studying each case with zeal in order to prepare for his defense. For many years I witnessed him turn down clients whom he could not defend in clear conscience.

While watching his earnest quest for justice and passion for truth, my heart was shaped at a very young age to carefully hear each side of an argument in its entirety, before making assumptions or passing judgment.

That’s one of the reasons I felt compelled to reach out to pastor Andy Stanley after reading several blogs filled with outrage in response to his recent series “Who Needs God.”

One of these bloggers’ most disturbing claims is, in essence, that Andy Stanley affirms that the Bible is no longer the inerrant word of God.

When I read those statements, like many other Christian believers, I became surprised and quite shocked. However, remembering my dad’s life lessons on fair judgment, and contrary to many of the angry bloggers I read, I decided to follow “trial protocol.” Meaning, I actually sat down and carefully watched the entire six-message series before drawing any final conclusions. The series ended Sept. 18, but truth be told, most of the raging articles were written before the series even reached its midpoint. After watching the last message, I went one step further and reached out to Andy himself, who gladly agreed to give me an interview.

North Point Community Church has six locations in the metro Atlanta area, with its main campus in Alpharetta. According to Outreach Magazine, the church has been ranked the largest church in attendance in America for three years in a row, with approximately 38,000 people attending the services across all campuses on any given Sunday. Although not a member of North Point, I have heard several of Andy’s sermons online, and as a guest speaker at my home church, First Baptist Atlanta, where his father, renowned Dr. Charles F. Stanley, is the senior pastor.

It’s never been a secret that Andy’s preaching style and outreach strategies are very distinct from more traditional pastors. My objective on this commentary is not to defend Andy’s entire ministry, or whether I agree with the way he manages his church. However, I have always believed that Andy’s ministry followed the same millennia-old dogmas, based on Christ’s teachings, and which have become the pillars of the Christian faith. Today, I particularly would like to address Andy’s position regarding the doctrine which has been clearly the pain point of this controversial series: the inerrancy of Scriptures.

When I visited North Point’s website, I found the following words posted under their statement of faith: “We believe the entire Bible is the inspired Word of God and that men were moved by the Spirit of God to write the very words of Scripture. Therefore, we believe the Bible is without error.”

During our interview, when asked about his stand on the inerrancy of Scriptures, Andy declared, without hesitation: “I believe the Bible is without error in everything it affirms. I believe what the Bible says is true, is true.” He also told me that he is in the process of writing a lengthy article, where he intends to address the misunderstandings generated by this particular series.

Read about @PatHolbrook Interview with @AndyStanley about WHO NEEDS GOD series #AndyStanley
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To the readers of this column, however, I will leave you with this thought: Ugly dissensions such as this only weaken the church. They cause division, and invariably turn people away from Christianity. Before criticizing someone’s ministry, or judging their position regarding core beliefs, make sure to give them the courtesy of listening to all they have to say. Next, examine the fruit of their work. That’s called fair trial.

You can hear Andy’s entire series at www.whoneedsGod.co

Article published in Patricia’s column for the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s Faith & Value Section on Saturday, October 1
. Patricia is a Christian author, blogger and International speaker. Her Book Twelve Inches is on sale at Barnes & Nobles, Amazon and retailers worldwide. Visit her website www.soaringwithHim.com. For speaking engagements and comments, email pholbrook@soaringwithHim.com

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