“Will you do it? Will you do it for me?”

She knew exactly what it meant. She also knew the idea was not hers. She would never have chosen this path. It was God’s idea. He spoke clearly through the image that depicted his great sacrifice for her: from the cradle to the cross. The entire Gospel depicted in one remarkable image, challenged Gail to do the unreasonable: Forgive what seemed to be unforgivable … and take one step toward restoring a marriage that seemed to be far from redeemable.

I had heard parts of the story that same week from Rodney Brooks, my church’s minister of music, when he shared about the many testimonies of how First Baptist Atlanta’s Christmas program has impacted the community in the past 12 years.

He asked me if I knew Gail and Ron, since they are members of my choir. But a group of almost 300 singers makes it almost impossible to know everyone. Nevertheless, the story warmed my heart, and I could not believe it when I “happened” to sit at the same table as the couple during a luncheon a few days later. I knew then that I had to tell their story, which they graciously allowed me to share with my readers.

Gail and Ron had been married for 37 years when a series of circumstances, culminating with the tragic death of their 26-year-old son in a motorcycle accident, sent their marriage into a downward spiral. The pressure of the loss was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and three years later, they started divorce proceedings. Gail had no intention to reconcile — until that Sunday afternoon in December 2017, when God challenged her, as she sang the last chorus of “Amazing Grace,” eyes fixed on the cross being lifted behind baby Jesus’ manger:

“When we’ve been there 10,000 years, bright shining as the sun. We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise, than when we first begun.”

Forgiveness. Redemption. Grace. She was to offer those gifts to the father of her children. She candidly told me the story, as Ron listened, his hands around her and eyes filled with tears.

“I did not want to do it. Not for me, nor for my children or grandchildren. But I would do it for Christ.”

“It was my Christmas miracle,” Ron said, tears dripping down. “I could not believe it when she called to tell me she was coming home.”

This is one of several stories about how First Family Christmas has impacted the community.

When asked about when the preparations start each year, Pastor Brooks did not hesitate: “Oh, I start praying and planning next year’s program when this year’s ends.”

I am not surprised. Having been involved in the program for eight years, the quality of its content never ceases to amaze me. The musical is entertaining for the entire family, always featuring the fun traditional Christmas songs and popular traditions, as well as masterpieces uniquely arranged to deliver chills to the audience. From a complete orchestra to a nearly 300-voice choir, from renowned artists to breathtaking audio-visual effects, FFC is sure to fulfill its mission every year: Prepare Atlanta for the true meaning of Christmas. This year, the production presents the incomparable Babbie Mason and Voices of Mobile as its featured artists. On Friday night, the program is offered for free for residents of shelters around the city, which is, personally, my favorite presentation.

For Gail and Ron, this year’s program marks the first anniversary of the beginning of their reconciliation. And they will be standing in the choir loft together, praising the one whose love, forgiveness and grace prompted the couple to give love a second chance.

First Family Christmas will take place Dec. 8-9 at First Baptist Church Atlanta. For information and tickets, visit www.fba.org.

This article was originally published on Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution on Saturday – November 24, 2018.

Christmas message gives couple's marriage a second chance. Read about it on my column for the @AJC
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I watched the scene from a distance, fully aware that I was invisible to the group of teenagers standing in front of me. It’s amazing how parents disappear whenever teens get together. As an avid observer, I sat back to pay attention to the scene unfolding before me. A group of beautiful girls and dazzled boys conversed animatedly, talking about the day at school, while planning their next big thing.

Two girls stood out. Tall, skinny and blond, every boy and girl in the group seemed hypnotized by their presence. They played with their immaculate hair while talking, showing their perfect, pearly smiles. They are beautiful, and they know it. As my eyes scanned the group, my heart sank while watching some of the other girls shrink as the two popular kids stood out.

And just like that, I was 15 again. The all too familiar weight of comparison and inadequacy flooded my mind, as I imagined their struggle:

“Mom, can I have highlights? I really want to be blond.”

“If only I could get rid of these freckles. I hate them.”

“If only my hair were straight.”

“If only my hair were curly.”

“If only I could lose 10 pounds.”

Ah, the comparison curse! So many of us have been haunted by its ghost during our youth. It’s the ghost that told us we were unworthy, unlovable, unintelligent and ugly. It screamed that we could never measure up, and that the grass was always greener in our friends’ front yard. And even though this ghost certainly haunted teenagers in the ’80s, when we wished to look like Cindy Crawford and be popular like Whitney Houston, this joy-stealer, heart-breaking curse floods our culture more than ever on this social-media driven 21st century.

If you had asked me before today if I had overcome the feelings of insecurity of my youth, I would have quickly replied with a big, fat “yes.”

“I know who I am and I’m happy with myself. Finally.”

But during my time of prayer and reading Scriptures this morning, I realized that this statement is only partially true.

No, I don’t spend my time trying to look or sound like someone else. I am at peace with my red hair and Brazilian accent. I don’t dream of wearing a size 2, nor do I wear painful high-heeled shoes to appear 4 inches taller anymore.

But truth be told, as I thought about the race God has called me to run, I realized that I have allowed the comparison ghost to creep in again. Rather than haunting me to feel unworthy or ugly, it plays with grown-up fears these days. Maybe you can relate:

“If only I could write/speak/sing/cook like she does.”

“If only I had her job.”

“If only I had his money.”

“If only my marriage were like theirs.”

“If only I were not alone.”

If only.

There’s a vast difference between desiring to be married, grow in our profession, look our best or do our very best … and trying to run someone else’s race.
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On one hand, we keep focus on what God has called us to do, at this moment in time and plan for the future as God shows us the next steps. We welcome ideas and even ask for advice, nevertheless remembering that, just as our fingerprints are exclusive, so is the race God sets before each individual.

Conversely, we can become so enamored by someone else’s accomplishments that we start applying their “success formula,” without stopping to pray to find out if it is right for us. All the while, I imagine God lovingly waiting on us to ask: “Father, is this right … for ME?”

Sometimes I just have to be reminded that when God made me, He broke the mold. There has never been, nor will there ever be someone just like me. Or just like you.
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We are fearfully and wonderfully made for an exclusive, divine plan that cannot be compared to anyone else’s.

May we focus on running our unique race, lest we miss our destination for being distracted with someone else’s journey.

This article was originally published on Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution on Saturday –  September 15th, 2018.

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