A couple rushes to the altar after a short-term courtship. A spouse gives in to lust and commits adultery. A wife spouts off insults against her husband. A mother lashes out at her children with no regard for the damage thoughtless words will cause.

Impulsivity is perhaps one of the most primal instincts known to men, and most everyone is guilty of acting impulsively at least once in their lifetime. A common mark of youth, lack of self-control and restraint often bears consequences that can irreparably impact a young person’s future.

Unfortunately, many individuals never outgrow this trait, struggling with self-control throughout their adult life. This type of behavior is known in psychology as “dysfunctional impulsivity,” and the name translates it perfectly. People who constantly act on impulse come across as out of control, erratic, unstable, and angry, often allowing desires, fear or anger to steer them down a path of destruction and isolation.

The offspring of impulsivity are usually regret and loss. #rechargewednesday
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For certain people, impulsive acts are just that: actions preceded by no regard for consequence. For others, however, impulsivity has broader roots, and their actions are a consequence of deep-set fear, insecurities or jealousy.

Saul’s Jealousy

In my recent study of the book of Psalms, I came across a number of songs written by David when hiding from King Saul, who sought to kill the young man when feeling threatened by his growing popularity among the Jews. As we read the parallel passages in the book of 1 Samuel, we find Saul’s insecurities growing at the same rate as David’s accomplishments. When David entered Jerusalem after slaying Goliath and ending Israel’s war against the Philistines, women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with dancing and singing. While dancing, they sang a song that spurred Saul into a jealous fit: “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.” (1 Samuel 18)

Saul’s proud smile disappeared. The song infuriated him. His anger bore a new giant within his heart, a threat mightier than the 9-foot slain Philistine: burning jealousy.
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The Hebrew word used in this passage for the kind of anger Saul experienced is revealing. It is “charah,” which, according to the Hebrew Lexicon, means “to burn, be kindled, be incensed, glow with anger, grow indignant; to act zealously.” Charah is not just any type of anger. Its deeper meaning conveys the fire of anger that burns right after it is ignited. In other words, it conveys the type of anger followed by an impulsive response. Charah portrays Saul exploding with anger –a reaction before any sense of self-control or restraint could be processed.

I understand King Saul too well.

When I was younger, fear and insecurity brought about many impulsive actions and decisions. As I’ve grown older, however, self-awareness and God’s wisdom in Scriptures have helped me strike the right balance between not acting at all and acting impulsively, repeatedly.

But how can we master our impulses? I don’t believe we can do it on our own. We can start by asking God to reveal what triggers our responses and help us heal. We must also seek to know ourselves better, thus developing awareness of what generates our anger, lust, fear, or pride and deliberately dealing with it. That means we turn from whatever tempts us or seek to find our heart’s motives behind our anger.

I have also learned to take self-imposed time-outs… and pray before acting. When something or someone angers me, I silence, sometimes leave the room, and postpone the discussion. I then ask God for his wisdom and grace. It’s not that I never say anything in anger anymore; however, thankfully, moderation and self-control have become more prevalent than impulsive, regretful words or actions.

Saul had been chosen by God to be king, but we will never know the greatness destined for his reign because of bad decisions and reckless responses resulting from pride, insecurity, and fear.

Instead of a beacon of light to follow, Israel’s first king bore a series of character flaws to be avoided.

May it be a lesson for us all, lest we allow our passions, fear and pride to become the very instruments that forge our shackles … and ruin our future.

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LINKUP is open! This week, @patholbrook shares a strong message about the dangers of allowing impulsiveness, fear and pride to take over our decision-making. Joins us and share your blog!
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Click for PDF: Manipulating Gods timing 04.28.15

Passage: 1 Samuel 24

Key Verse: ““May the Lord judge between us. Perhaps the Lord will punish you for what you are trying to do to me, but I will never harm you.” v.12

David and his men had been hiding when they heard the footsteps of a man entering the cave. Startled, he oddly shifted on the ground, careful not to make a sound that would denounce his presence. He stretched his neck to look towards the sound. His heart skipped a beat. It was him, the man he admired and loved, yet, his enemy. The very one who sent David fleeing for his life into the wilderness, was entering his hiding place.  It didn’t take long for David to realize that Saul had not entered the cave to capture him. He was just looking for a private place to relieve himself. David was armed and had a small army of supporters who would have loved nothing better than to vindicate their leader. Saul was unprepared and unsuspecting. David had the perfect opportunity to seek vengeance for the years robbed from him, as God’s chosen king had to flee for his life and live like a criminal in the wilderness of Engedi.

“Now’s your opportunity!” David’s men whispered to him. “Today the Lord is telling you, ‘I will certainly put your enemy into your power, to do with as you wish.’” V.4

My vivid imagination cannot help but ponder his dilemma: “I can end his life and take the crown that is rightfully mine. I can go live a normal life again. I can finally claim the throne… Or I can let him go.”

You know the story. David cuts off the edge of Saul’s robe… and spares his life. Later on, he even regrets having touched the King’s robe:

“But then David’s conscience began bothering him because he had cut Saul’s robe. He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this to my lord the king. I shouldn’t attack the Lord’s anointed one, for the Lord himself has chosen him.” V.5-6

His righteous demeanor amazes me.

He could have shortened his journey to the crown. But He feared God enough to know that one wrong does not justify another. He chose the long road. And even though the voices around him told him God was giving him the opportunity for vengeance and freedom NOW, David knew better. In his spirit, he believed God’s promise and would not take a shortcut and compromise. Even though there’s no doubt he was tired of hiding and waiting, God’s chosen one would not take the easy way out and manipulate God’s timing.

As I think about this crucial moment in King David’s history, I can’t help but ponder about how tempting it is to manipulate our circumstances to fulfill the longing of our hearts. Haven’t we all fell into this trap one way or another? Truly, each time we face challenging trials and the arid desserts of waiting for God’s promises to be fulfilled, it becomes so very easy to manipulate our circumstances to shorten the storm… and bring forth some much anticipated relief for our times of trouble.

It seems unfair, doesn’t it? It’s as if God’s children are always on His list of those who must wait to receive.

We see people who don’t care a thing about God prospering in all they do… and us, God’s children, seem to have to “hide in the cave” for just a bit longer… or be persecuted just a bit harder.

In the process of waiting for deliverance and peace, the world parades a multitude of soothing consolations for our weary and broken hearts…

… easy relationships that could hastily end our loneliness…

… thirty-day divorce procedures that could easily give us a way out of a difficult marriage…

… interest-free credit cards that would allow us to purchase what we want now…

… drugs and alcohol that would soothe our pain… if only for one day…

Nonetheless, God’s voice is the same to His children today as it was in that cave over three thousand years ago:

“Do you want My full blessing, pressed down, shaken together and running over?

Then you must give yourself unreservedly to Me. Trust Me and stay in the dark cave for just a while longer, waiting for the right time… and My perfect deliverance.”

The main reason we manipulate our circumstances and even try to manipulate God by twisting what His Word says is because we miss the big picture. Unlike David, we fail to recognize that there’s a reason for the waiting. We fail to see God’s hand in the cave… as He protects us and changes our hearts to prepare us for the task and the gifts He has for us.

David needed the years of persecution to reach his full potential as God’s anointed King. He needed to depend upon God for each day in order to conquer his fears… his inadequacy. As he waited and depended upon Yahweh (the God of the covenant) for protection, direction and peace, he became “the man after God’s own heart” that God so longed to see. Were it not for the cave, he would not have earned that title. Were it not for his waiting… and trusting… and waiting some more, he would not have inherited God’s promise (and anointing) at the appointed time.

Are you in the cave, hiding and waiting upon God for deliverance? Do not give into the temptation of shortening your stay, thus forfeiting God’s very best for you. Withhold the sword. Take a deep breath and affirm your trust in your Maker.

He knows just when you’re ready to come out and be set free.

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