Maybe there’s a resemblance to both your parents or neither one. Perhaps people say you look like another family member.

As a twin, my sister is someone I resemble.

Besides physical attributes, there’s another way we resemble someone—in character.

To look more and more like Jesus is one of the most important aspects of Christianity. But if we miss this, we miss the purest meaning for CHRISTian.

Yet, how do Christians look like Christ? After our spiritual birth, is there a way to really grow to resemble Jesus?

In Matthew 6, Christ seizes an opportunity to teach His disciples and listeners how to pray. While the prayer, line-by-line, is beautiful and powerful. There’s other discoveries in the text.

It showcases who God is. And we uncover the mission of Jesus. Still further, it reveals how to look more like Jesus Christ.

The Lord’s Prayer

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

(Matthew 6:9-13 ESV)

6 Ways to Resemble Jesus:

1.) Jesus recognized His Father’s holiness.

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.” Hallowed means holy, sacred, and revered (Merriam Webster). Jesus acknowledges, Holy are You, Father, revered is Your name.

To resemble Jesus, we recognize our Father as holy and we revere His name. Voicing it to God in prayer. And voicing it to others—My God is holy, hallowed is His name. 

To resemble Jesus, we recognize our Father as holy and we revere His name. Voicing it to God in prayer. And voicing it to others—'My God is holy, hallowed is His name.' @FridayKaren #Prayer #Jesus
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2.) Jesus desired His Father’s Kingdom. 

“Your kingdom come.” Jesus spent His life bringing heaven’s kingdom to earth. It’s seen in His words, actions, and disciples. And God’s kingdom is displayed in His peace, grace, love, and mercy.

We may spend years building our kingdom. But it often crumbles.

To look like Jesus, we desire God’s Kingdom over our own. We want His will over our agenda. It’s seen in our words, actions, and in how we disciple others. We display the peace, grace, love, and mercy of Jesus.

To look like Jesus, we desire God’s Kingdom over our own. We want His will over our agenda. We display the peace, grace, love, and mercy of Jesus. @FridayKaren #KingdomHearts
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3.) Jesus busied himself with His Father’s business. 

“Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

At only 12-years-old, Jesus focused on His Father’s business (Luke 2:29, NKJV). And there are many other accounts where Christ states His purpose was to do the Father’s will.

To resemble Jesus, we busy ourselves with our Father’s business. We pray and seek His will. Instead of our life characterized by mere busyness, we make the business of heaven our life.

4.) Jesus relied on His Father’s provision. 

“Give us this day our daily bread.”

As modeled in His life, Jesus asked God to provide—daily. These needs included physical and spiritual nourishment. But Christ never concerned himself with tomorrow’s provision. This reminds us of the manna God provided each day to the Israelites (Exodus 16).

To look like Jesus, we trust God’s provision for each day. We ask God and trust Him for physical and spiritual nourishment.

5.) Jesus extended His Father’s forgiveness. 

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

Jesus extended forgiveness for sins to a woman marked “sinful” (Luke 7:48). He asked the Father to forgive those who crucified Him (Luke 23:34). And Christ died so that our sins were paid for and forgiven.

To resemble Jesus, we freely and liberally forgive others who wrong us. Even those who are repeat offenders.

To resemble Jesus, we freely and liberally forgive others who wrong us. Even those who are repeat offenders. @FridayKaren #Forgiveness
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6.) Jesus combated evil with His Father’s Word.

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

Jesus overcame temptation with Scripture, “It is written” (Matthew 4:1-11). Christ freed people with evil spirits. He spoke about abstaining from evil. And Jesus said to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).

To look like Jesus, we use God’s Word to overcome temptation. We protect our heart from evil. And we overcome evil with good.

Which of the 6 ways do you desire to resemble Jesus most? Or, what would you add?

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LINKUP is open! Perhaps we resembled a parent or other family member when we were born...or even now. Join my friend @FridayKaren to discover some ways to resemble Jesus and His character after our spiritual birth. Share your blog!…
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The post 6 Ways to Resemble Jesus {Recharge Wednesday LINKUP} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

So I’m letting you peek into my personal journal for twenty thoughts I hope encourage you and bring life to your soul. Some thoughts the Lord gave me in the past, but are helpful now. While others are fresh inspiration from the Lord.

Wholeness And Forgiveness

(1.) If people add injury to my pain, they are broken people in need of wholeness from Christ. Broken people break people. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” Psalm 147:3 ESV.

(2.) I must cling to the only sure hope in the darkness. Jesus. “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” John 1:5 ESV.

(3.) Lord, place the cross and the blood of Jesus between me and the enemy, and between me and difficult people and circumstances. There’s nothing Your redemptive blood doesn’t cover. And there’s nothing it can’t redeem.

(4.) When we refuse to forgive others or even ourselves, we are limiting God. We are saying He’s not able to give us supernatural ability to forgive. We are putting ourselves as a god above the God who is so loving, so merciful, and so kind that every time we repent, He gladly forgives.

If people add injury to my pain, they are broken people in need of wholeness from Christ. Broken people break people. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” Psalm 147:3 ESV. #journal #broken @FridayKaren
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New Mercies And Promises

(5.) I’m so thankful for the power of prayer: that mountains still move, seas still part, mana still rains from heaven, and because God can raise the dead, ashes turn to beauty again.

(6.) Even if the world seems to stop spinning. Even if dark clouds seem to hijack sunny days. And even if life seems void of another sunrise or sunset. The Son holds the world and me in His hands (Psalm 95:4). The Son shines His face on me and gives me peace (Numbers 6:25:-26). And the Son rises with healing in His wings and with new mercies every morning (Malachi 4:4, Lamentations 3:22-23).

(7.) Lord, I know all your promises are “Yes” and “Amen” in Christ. So help me trust that there are countless and hearty yeses and the loudest Amens at the end of this path (2 Corinthians 1:20).

(8.) God IS a good, good Father and I am confident goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life (Psalm 23:6). Lord, as I walk through a valley, help me to turn and see the footprints of goodness and mercy behind me every step of the way.

Strength And Restoration

(9.) The Lord is my strength, my song, my salvation. The LORD is a Warrior! MY warrior! (Exodus 15:2-3).

(10.) Lord, I’m claiming a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit, that You may be glorified (Isaiah 61:3).

(11.) In Joel 2:25, the Lord promised to restore the years the locusts had eaten. And if you know the total, devastating damage caused by locusts. And how they consume everything in their path…any form of life and vegetation. If God can restore that kind of damage and death and nothingness back to life and wholeness…He can do it in my life.

(12.) I am loved. I am chosen. And I am redeemed. I am free.

Grace And Open Arms

(13.) Romans 12:1-2 calls for me not to be conformed to this world. Instead, I’m called to offer myself as a living sacrifice. But it’s hard to be a living sacrifice when I keep crawling off the altar of God’s holiness.

(14.)  Whether it’s hard circumstances, unfulfilled dreams, strength for new things, or hope for the future: God is faithful as God. God is faithful to His callings on my life. God is faithful to me. “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful” Hebrews 10:23 ESV.

(15.) Rules never saved anyone. Rule-keeping never provided grace. But the blood of Jesus covers my sins and provides amazing grace…saving grace! It’s not about rule-keeping, but obeying the Almighty God and His Word.

(16.) God’s always waiting with open arms. There’s no better, safer, or stronger arms than the arms of the Almighty.

Romans 12:1-2 calls for me not to be conformed to this world. Instead, I’m called to offer myself as a living sacrifice. But it’s hard to be a living sacrifice when I keep crawling off the #altar of God’s holiness. @FridayKaren
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Battles And Victory

(17.) The Christian life isn’t about “arriving” as if there’s nothing more to learn or overcome. It’s about arriving to a better place—a stronger place as a believer.

(18.) God steps into my mess as soon as I decide to step out.

(19.)  I stand as victor because Christ was victorious.

(20.) In a spiritual battle, the enemy holds no power over me. Satan is not God’s equal, he is powerless before the Almighty who fights for me.

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Linkup is open, share your blog! @FridayKaren lets us peek into her journal for thoughts about wholeness, forgiveness, God's mercies and promises, valley journeys, and grace. #blog #journaling
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The post 20 Life-giving Entries in My Journal {Recharge Wednesday LINKUP} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

I smiled and uttered a prayer of thanksgiving for my mom. Once again, this loving woman had dropped everything in her life and had flown 6,000 miles to take care of me and my family in a time of need. Regardless of distance, time or cost, I know that as long as God gives her breath, I can always count on my mom.

My mind goes back in time and I remember our relationship as I grew up. As many women of her day, mom had to work five days a week and sometimes on the weekends to help the family budget; therefore she was not very involved in our day-to-day activities. During the teenage years, as my parents’ relationship became stormy, we were all victims in the consequences of a broken marriage. Hormones and anger made my young mind shut down to any common sense. The hurt of seeing my parents growing apart blinded any attempt to understand my mother and so our relationship became distant and shaky.

As we both struggled with our individual crisis, we hurt each other deeply. As in many other mother-daughter situations that I have known, there was pain, misunderstanding and incompatibility for far too many years.

Today, however, in spite of anything in the past, I can honestly say that Mom is a best friend. I long to see her and spend time with her. I love to hear her voice when I dial her number. And even though our personalities are pretty different and we don’t always agree, our love and longing to be together grows deeper with each passing year.

Our secret?

We set each other free.

We can’t help but grow old, but we have to choose to grow wiser.

We can’t help but grow old, but we have to choose to grow wiser. #TwelveInchesBibleStudy #FaithBridge #RechargeWednesday #linkup
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As a grown woman, I started to understand her longings, sorrows and disappointments. I often made myself put on her shoes to imagine her experiences.

When I became a Christian at 25, I realized for the first time that no one is worthy of forgiveness; however, that is exactly what Christ offers to anyone who will ask. I also came to realize that true love never withholds forgiveness and that we cannot expect to be forgiven if we don’t forgive others. This former Catholic schoolgirl knew all too well the words of the Lord’s Prayer in Luke 11: “And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”

I know several mothers and daughters who are wasting time and missing out on an abundant life with each other because of unforgiveness. I know daughters who dread the thought of being around their mother and mothers whose daughter can never measure up to their expectations. I know mothers who compete with their daughters and daughters who will never agree with their moms, even when they are absolutely right. The same occurs in different relationships where trust and dreams are shattered. Without forgiveness, there is no factual restoration. Without restoration, our future is bound to defeat. Heaven shuts down.

Without forgiveness, there is no factual restoration. Without restoration, our future is bound to defeat. #TwelveInchesBibleStudy #FaithBridge
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As we stand in a position of self-righteousness, holding on to thirty-year-old grudges, we fail to realize that we are the ones held in bondage. Even if the person who wronged you has a hardened heart and continually hurts you, do yourself a favor: Set them free! Ask God to help you forgive them and pray for them. Extend the same forgiveness that you so long to receive from those you hurt.

As we stand in a position of self-righteousness, holding on to thirty-year-old grudges, we fail to realize that we are the ones held in bondage. #TwelveInchesBibleStudy #FaithBridge #rechargeWednesday #linkup
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I cannot remember exactly when it started, but somewhere along life’s way, I started to choose to love my mom for whom she is. I don’t try to change her and I don’t look back anymore. I look forward to the years we have ahead of us. No matter how many we have, I am choosing, one step at a time, to fully, abundantly enjoy each one.

Regardless of who hurt you, whether it was a parent, spouse or friend, forgiving is not easy. Actually, I believe it’s quite impossible without God. But with His help, you can.

Have you tried asking Him to help you overcome?

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

Hello, friends! 

The post above is an excerpt from my new Bible Study Twelve Inches – Bridging the gap between what you know about God and how you feel. Registration for this free bible study is now open on our website (click here to be directed to the page). We have also opened registrations for many volunteer positions. Check this out: JOIN OUR TEAM. 

Below you will watch a short Promo video about the heart of this book and bible study. I hope you join us!

Blessings,

Patricia

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How could I help this man see that to be freed from his pain he needed to forgive the woman who’d caused it?

I’m sure people have hurt and disappointed you too. It’s part of life on planet earth. Maybe that’s why Jesus included forgiveness in the prayer He taught his disciples.

“Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” (Matt. 6:12 NLT).

Isn’t it ironic that we must forgive the ones we least want to forgive? This isn’t a cruel joke. It’s protection. Granting forgiveness heals our wounds and frees our souls.

Isn’t it ironic that we must forgive the ones we least want to forgive? This isn’t a cruel joke. It’s protection. Granting forgiveness heals our wounds and frees our souls. @DebbieWWilson #RechargeWednesday
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Some articles I’ve read on forgiveness presented platitudes that do more harm than good. They paint forgiveness as a magic wand that erases all pain. They say residual hurt feelings indicate unforgiveness. That may be true in some cases. But in others, the hurt reveals the depth of the wound.

Scratches heal quickly. But deep injuries take time to mend. Forgiveness sets healing in motion.

Scratches heal quickly. But deep injuries take time to mend. #Forgiveness sets healing in motion. #RechargeWednesday
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Sometimes we want to avoid the hard work of forgiving, so we tell ourselves, “It’s no big deal.” Or we say, “This is too big. They don’t deserve to be forgiven.”

When we face resistance, it helps to remember who benefits most from our forgiveness. We do—as well as those we love.

They may not deserve our forgiveness. But do we deserve to prolong our suffering by holding on to the sharp barbs of bitterness? Or do our loved ones deserve to live with the hostility of our resentment or be shaped by a destructive example?

Forgiveness always benefits the one who gives it. And it protects our loved ones, because bitterness is a poisonous root that spreads (Hebrews 12:15).

#Forgiveness always benefits the one who gives it. #RechargeWednesday
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The person who wronged us may not even realize our turmoil—or care. They may be dead. But if our resentment lives on, we suffer. And our resentment spills on those close to us.

Bitterness not only drains our joy; it erects a barrier between us and God. He hasn’t moved, but we feel distant. Tormented souls snap at small irritations, miss the beauty around them, and injure anyone in their wake. How many spouses, children, and coworkers suffer because of someone’s unwillingness to forgive?

Forgiveness frees us from these damaging effects.

Christ Is Our Example

Christ forgives injuries –

• done in ignorance
• done intentionally
• that appear slight
• that cause tremendous harm

Your freedom is at stake. Forgive to free yourself from turmoil. Forgive for the sake of those you love.

I explained the benefit of forgiveness with my shuttle driver. When we reached the airport, he handed me my luggage. “I’m going to do what you said,” he smiled. “I am going to be free.”

What about you? Are you ready to be free? Forgiveness brings freedom for the one who forgives. Forgive—For your sake and the sake of all you love—including Jesus.

Are you ready to be free? Forgiveness brings freedom for the one who forgives. Forgive—For your sake and the sake of all you love—including Jesus. @DebbieWWilson #RechargeWednesday
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“Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22

 “I’m sorry for being mean today,”  Little One says. Sissy replies: “It’s ok. I was mean too. And I’m sorry.”

They laughed, hugged and turned to their music: “You make everything glooorious, I am Yoooours!” They sang and danced together.

Sitting at my desk and smiling ear to ear, I remember hearing God whisper:

“They bless my heart.”

That happened several years ago, but I remember it vividly. The easy way our children extended forgiveness to each other was then and is today one of the many reasons I am so proud to be their mom.

F.O.R.G.I.V.E.N.E.S.S.

Is there anything harder to break through, more difficult to master, than asking for and extending forgiveness?

I think not.

And yet, it’s evident that those who forgive have a richer, more peaceful life than those who hold grudges or are too prideful to admit when they’re wrong.

Truly, I firmly believe that forgiveness is one of the keys to an abundant life. On the other hand, lack of forgiveness is the reason behind much of people’s stress and misery. And even though unforgiveness hurts the one who does not forgive much deeper than it hurts the offender, it is certainly the natural response in the natural world.

Unforgiveness hurts the one who does not forgive much deeper than it hurts the offender. #MondayMotivation #MondayDevotional
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Take the movie industry, for example. In many movies and TV series, revenge is the central point of the plot in many blockbusters. Turning the other cheek? Nope. “Revenge belongs to ME”, the world cries out.

But what about us, Jesus followers? How do we respond to repeated offenses?

“Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 

Let’s be honest. We can relate to Peter. As a matter of fact, our dear apostle thought he was being “extra spiritual” when he asked the Lord if forgiving seven times was enough. After all, he had heard Jewish rabbis teach that forgiving the same offender three times was sufficient.

Jesus exposed the true issue behind this concept: Peter was holding a forgiveness meter. His words showed that he intended to measure up the injuries done to him. When the measure was full, he would be allowed to avenge the wrongdoing. Therefore he still thought of himself as a judge somewhat, when God tells us that “there’s only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy…” James 4:12 a

“Seventy times seven”, Jesus said.

Seven. The number that represents completion. Perfection. Righteousness revealed. Indeed – is there anything more righteous than extending grace and forgiveness to the undeserving? Is there anything more Christ-like than saying: “It’s ok… I’ve been mean too. I forgive you.”

(Just as my daughter told her little sister…)

Or do we tend to behave as the slave in the Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor on Matthew 18, whose huge debt was completely forgiven by his Master, and yet, was unable to extend the same forgiveness to his fellow slave? The measure of his debt couldn’t compare to the amount his friend owed him. In today’s money, his Master had forgiven him a debt equivalent to over $ 10 million dollars. A fortune! His friend owed him about $15 dollars. Still, he would not forgive him.

Sounds ridiculous, right?

And it is. Yet, Jesus’ message rings with the intensity of the meaning behind this parable: How dare we withhold a smudge of grace from our brothers and sisters, when we were lavished by grace through His precious blood?

How dare we withhold a smudge of grace from our brothers and sisters, when we were lavished by grace through His precious blood? #MondayMotivation #MondayDevotional
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No, it’s not easy. I don’t claim it to be. But forgiveness is not an option. It’s a demand. We must forgive, lest we impair our connection with the Father. He can’t extend grace when we withhold it from our neighbor. The Bible is filled with reminders of that truth. (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13; Luke 6:37; Romans 12:19)

Forgiveness is not an option. It’s a demand.
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“Will you forgive AGAIN?” God may be asking you today.

Will you forgive that person who hurt you for the seventh, one-hundredth time? Will you let go of the pain that someone so deeply inflicted in your past? Will you forgive them… one more time?

What should your answer be?

A twelve-year-old’s life lesson is your answer: “Yes, I will, Father. Because I’ve been mean to others too.”

May God teach our hearts to forgive Seventy times seven… in other words, always and completely… Enough to become more like Jesus.

May God teach our hearts to forgive Seventy times seven… in other words, always and completely… Enough to become more like Jesus. #MondayMotivation #MondayDevotional
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But when I started talking about freedom from past experiences, she interrupted the conversation, mentioning the long list of reasons as to why her life was in such terrible shape. She had never felt loved as a child. She had always felt inadequate, insecure. She knew her love relationships would never last. In less than five minutes talking to the lady, the conversation turned from present circumstances to her past experiences. It became clear that she was allowing her past to define her present.

My heart ached for her, as I could relate to her sense of inadequacy and heartbreak. I certainly remember a time when all my troubles were, in my mind, as unchangeable as my past. But beyond sympathy, I felt like shaking this lady out of her trance. She has been caught, just as I once was, in a conspicuous, joy-stealing trap. Invariably, people who do that refuse to take ownership of their current situation, blaming past circumstances and their upbringing for everything bad that happens to them.

I know she is not alone. I’ve met several people with similar stories. From something as simple as parents who had no time when they were children, to verbally or physically abusive parents or spouses, many adults struggle with the weight of past experiences and traumas.

Although I believe God is grieved by what happened in our past, I am convinced he does not expect our past experiences to determine our present and future.
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As a matter fact, I believe he longs to show us that the bad experiences we’ve had can be used to strengthen us and help others. But we must, first and foremost, choose to let go. And, most importantly — we must set the people who hurt us free.

Strange as it may seem, if we are honest, we must admit that sometimes our past becomes a crutch that we drag along as the reason we cannot walk in victory. We justify our insecurities or bad temper because someone hurt us. Or it seems easier to blame mom or dad, the ex-boyfriend or spouse, than to take ownership of our lives, pressing on to a brighter destiny. All along, I imagine God, hands extended toward us saying: “Come. There is life beyond your pain. There is fullness of joy beyond your past. There is a future that is not determined by anything but your willingness to let go and embrace the life I offer you.”It’s not easy. I know it too well. I used my “crutches” for far too many years. They were comfortable to me. But I found out that they were nothing but a trap, designed to keep me from reaching the purpose God had for my life. Once I realized that, I deliberately decided not to use my past to justify the way I behaved toward perfectly good people in my life. It was time to stand on my present, fully and hopeful, if I were to ever find fulfillment. My bad attitudes and impatience had to go. My insecurities and neediness had to leave. And I became determined to conquer them, by God’s grace and power.

He was there for me. With loving arms, God wrapped me in a love that I had never experienced before. His love was so deep and unconditional that it slowly erased all unforgiveness, pain and insecurities that had haunted me for years. It happened one step at a time, as I surrendered each burden and chose to forgive. Only then, after choosing to deliberately leave the past where it belonged, was I able to receive the healing, peace and joy that set me free.

This article was originally published in Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution on Saturday – October 27, 2018.

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According to a supposedly traditional Hebrew story, Abraham was sitting outside his tent one evening when a weary old traveler walked by. The old man looked tired and hungry from a long journey.

Abraham rushed out to help the stranger, inviting him into his tent. There he washed the man’s feet and gave him food and drink.

Without hesitation, the old traveler began eating his food before saying a prayer of thanksgiving. Abraham was taken aback, and asked his guest: “Don’t you worship God?”

The old man replied: “I worship fire only and reverence no other god.”

Shocked by the answer, Abraham quickly stood up, grabbed the old man by the shoulders and threw him out of the tent and into the cold night.

After the traveler departed, God called Abraham and asked him where the stranger was. Abraham firmly replied: “I forced him out because he did not worship you.”

God answered, “Although he dishonors and rejects me, I have patiently loved him these past 80 years. Could you not endure him for one night?”

This allegory made me think of how easy it is to love people whom we have a lot in common with, and how hard it can be to extend grace to those who don’t.

A quick mental scan through the names of my closest friends and I realize a common thread: We all believe the same basic things. That is a natural tendency: We have an intrinsic desire to commune with like-minded people. Nothing wrong there.

But the story depicts an Abraham who behaves incredibly harshly toward another human being, in order to illustrate a deeper concern that reaches beyond religious, moral or lifestyle preferences. I believe this story addresses our propensity to simply be impatient with people who behave, or think differently than we do.

Worse yet, it speaks of the danger of deeming ourselves better than others and choosing who deserves our (or God’s) grace and who does not.

I can’t help but think of the times we judge someone because they act contrarily of what we think they should, or lose patience with a loved one because they made the same mistake… once again.

Indeed, how many relationships end because we choose not to give someone another chance, or are quick to dismiss a person’s individuality because it does not look like what we see in the mirror?

There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with a person’s choices. In the story, God didn’t agree with the man. He wished for him to change and acknowledge him as his God. But the man’s choices didn’t change God’s love for him. On the contrary — God’s love was long-suffering and patient.

It may be that your child is rebelling against everything you’ve ever taught him or her, slowly becoming the very opposite of what you hoped and prayed for. It may be that your spouse’s stubbornness grates on your nerves, and maybe the very thing that attracted you to him or her in the first place is now a point of constant contention. It may be that your boss is a hard pill to swallow and, although you really need that job, you are about to tender your resignation letter. Indeed, maybe you are at the brink of throwing someone out of the tent.

If that’s you today, could it be that God is testing the purity of your love and the strength of your character? Because loving and extending grace to those who fit our preconceived mold is a piece of cake. But forgiving and loving the unlikely? That’s what true love looks like.

Lord, help me break free from all preconceived molds and learn how to love like you do!
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This article was originally published on Patricia’s Column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution on Saturday, August 5th 2016.

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I smiled and uttered a prayer of thanksgiving for my mom. Once again, this loving woman had dropped everything in her life and  had flown 6,000 miles to take care of me and my family in a time of need. Regardless of distance, time or cost, I know that as long as God gives her breath, I can always count on my mom.

My mind goes back in time and I remember our relationship as I grew up. As many women of her day, mom had to work five days a week and sometimes on the weekends to help the family budget; therefore she was not very involved in our day-to-day activities. During the teenage years, as my parents’ relationship became stormy, we were all victims in the consequences of a broken marriage. Hormones and anger made my young mind shut down to any common sense. The hurt of seeing my parents growing apart blinded any attempt to understand my mother and so our relationship became distant and shaky.

As we both struggled with our individual crisis, we hurt each other deeply. As in many other mother-daughter situations that I have known, there was pain, misunderstanding and incompatibility for far too many years.

Today, however, in spite of anything in the past, I can honestly say that Mom is a best friend. I long to see her and spend time with her. I love to hear her voice when I dial her number. And even though our personalities are pretty different and we don’t always agree, our love and longing to be together grows deeper with each passing year.

Our secret?

We set each other free.

We can’t help but grow old, but we have to choose to grow wiser.

As a grown woman, I started to understand her longings, sorrows and disappointments. I often made myself put on her shoes to imagine her experiences.

When I became a Christian at 25, I realized for the first time that no one is worthy of forgiveness; however that is exactly what Christ offers to anyone who will ask. I also came to realize that true love never withholds forgiveness and that we cannot expect to be forgiven if we don’t forgive others. This former Catholic school girl knew all too well the words of the Lord’s Prayer in Luke 11: “And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”

I know several mothers and daughters who are wasting time and missing out an abundant life with each other because of unforgiveness. I know daughters who dread the thought of being around their mother and mothers whose daughter can never measure up to their expectations. I know mothers who compete with their daughters and daughters who will never agree with their moms, even when they are absolutely right. The same occurs in different relationships where trust and dreams are shattered . Without forgiveness there is no factual restoration. Without restoration, our future is bound to defeat. Heaven shuts down. Our Faith Bridge stays broken and therefore nonfunctional.

As we stand in a position of self-righteousness, holding on to thirty year-old grudges, we fail to realize that we are the ones held in bondage. Even if the person who wronged you has a hardened heart and continually hurts you, do yourself a favor: Set them free! Ask God to help you forgive them and pray for them. Extend the same forgiveness that you so long to receive from those you hurt.

I cannot remember exactly when it started, but somewhere along life’s way, I started to choose to love my mom for whom she is. I don’t try to change her and I don’t look back anymore. I look forward to the years we have ahead of us. No matter how many we have, I am choosing, one step at a time, to fully, abundantly enjoy each one.

Regardless of who hurt you, whether it was a parent, spouse or friend, forgiving is not easy. Actually, I believe it’s quite impossible without God. But with His help, you can.

Have you tried asking Him to help you overcome?

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

This devotional is an excerpt from Patricia’s newly released book Twelve Inches – Bridging the Gap between what you know about God and how your feel.” Today we’re giving away a copy to one of our readers. Leave a comment to enter, or if you are in a hurry, simply say “I’m bridging the gap!” in the comments section. For more information on the book and to read some of the endorsements, click HERE

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Have you ever been around someone who just cannot let go of the past?  Has it ever been you?

These types of personalities can be met everywhere and each family has at least one. They drag their shackles around everywhere they go. They are slaves and do not know it. They are unhappy and invariably become bitter, resentful and lonely. So.very.lonely.

They are doctors and housewives, wealthy and poor. Many of them sit on the pew right beside us. They know God and his word. And yet, for different reasons, they choose to remain chained to the misery of their past, even though they know that God longs to set them free.

My heart aches for them.But truthfully, many of us have been there. I know I have.

For years I looked back to find justification for my bad attitude and shallow faith. I would blame my insecurities on my parent’s broken marriage and my poor self-image on things that I heard growing up. I blamed my jealousy on that boyfriend who was unfaithful and my reluctance in giving up bad habits on the fact that I was raised in a more liberal culture.

Blame, blame, blame.

Attached to the chains that keep us bound to our past is the Blame Monster. And we feed it every time we drag the past around, allowing it to rob us of an abundant, successful present and future.

Honestly, it’s not easy to release the past. And I cannot in all fairness compare my own, however painful, experiences with some terrible stories which I’ve heard. But regardless of the measure of our pain, we, people of faith, eventually must be confronted with two simple questions: “Am I willing to let go?” and “Is God able to rewrite my story?”

Sometimes it is easier to bring the past along with us, because in order to confront it, we must realize our share of responsibility over our destiny. Of course, there are things that happen that are absolutely outside of our control: no one does anything to justify abuse, nor the onset of severe illness. Neither is it one’s fault that a parent dies nor leaves home, abandoning his or her family. These are truly traumatic experiences, brought on people by decisions of which they had no control.

However, there are hurts of the past that have a measure of self-infliction which is hard to confront. It’s easier to continue blaming mom and dad, or the ex-husband or ex-wife, than looking within ourselves, asking God to help us forgive and allowing Him to show us how to move forward and take ownership of our destiny.

There is also the fact that we become accustomed to living in bondage. We may have blamed the circumstances in our past for so long, that we do not know how to survive without the dysfunction!

There is no future for those trapped in the shackles of their past. And although many of us have, humanly speaking, perfectly good reasons to hold a grudge against a certain person, we must realize that setting them free is not only God’s will for us, it is ultimately the destination for all of those who have real peace and victory.

Patricia Holbrook is a Christian author and national conference speaker. Her first book, “12 Inches: Bridging the Gap Between What You Know and How You Feel About God,” is now on Kindle, and pre-selling at Barnes and Noble, Amazon and other retailers worldwide. Visit her blog to read her devotionals at www.soaringwithhim.com or email her at pholbrook@soaringwithhim.com

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Passage: Matthew 18: 21-35

Key Verses: “Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Vs.21-22

 “I’m sorry for being mean today,” the little one says. Sissy replies: “It’s ok. I was mean too. And I’m sorry.”

They laugh, hug and turn on their music: “You make everything glooorious, I am Yoooours!” They sing and dance together.

Sitting at my desk and smiling ear to ear, I heard God whisper in my soul: “They bless my heart.”

Forgiveness…

Is there anything harder to break through, more difficult to master, than asking for and extending forgiveness?

I think not.

And yet, it’s evident that those who forgive have a richer, more peaceful life than those who hold grudges or those who are too prideful to admit when they’re wrong.

Yes, I firmly believe that forgiveness is one of the keys to an abundant life.

On the other hand, lack of forgiveness is the reason behind much of the world’s stress and misery.

As you turn on the TV, you’ll see that revenge is idealized as the pinnacle of success. Turning the other cheek? Nope. “Revenge belongs to ME”, the world cries out.

But what about us, Jesus followers? How do we respond to repeated offenses?

“Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” v.21

Let’s be honest. We can relate to Peter. As a matter of fact, our dear apostle thought he was being “extra spiritual” when he asked the Lord if forgiving seven times was enough. After all, he had heard Jewish rabbis teach that forgiving the same offender three times was sufficient.

Jesus exposed the true issue behind this concept: Peter was holding a forgiveness meter. His words showed that he intended to measure up the injuries done to him. When the measure was full, he would be allowed to avenge the wrong doing. Therefore he still thought of himself as a judge somewhat, when God tells us that “there’s only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy…” James 4:12 a

“Seventy times seven”, Jesus said.

Seven. The number that represents completion. Perfection. Righteousness revealed.

Is there anything more righteous than extending grace and forgiveness to the undeserving? Is there anything more Christ-like than saying: “It’s ok… I’ve been mean too. I forgive you.”

Just as my daughter told her little sister…

Or will we do as the slave in the parable, whose huge debt was completely forgiven by his Master, and yet, was unable to extend the same forgiveness to his fellow slave. The measure of his debt couldn’t compare to the amount his friend owed him. In today’s money, his Master had forgiven him a debt equivalent to over $10,000,000 . A fortune! His friend owed him about $15. Still, he would not forgive him.

Sounds ridiculous, right?

And it is. Yet, Jesus’ message rings with the intensity of the meaning behind this parable: How dare we withhold a smudge of grace from our brothers and sisters, when we were lavished by grace through His precious blood!

No, it’s not easy. I don’t claim it to be. But forgiveness is not an option. It’s a demand. We must forgive, lest we impair our connection with the Father. He can’t extend grace when we withhold it from our neighbor. The Bible is filled with reminders of that truth. (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13; Luke 6:37; Romans 12:19)

“Will you forgive again?” God asks.

What should our answer be?

A twelve year old reminded me today:

“Yes, it’s ok. I’ve been mean too. I forgive you.”

“How many times?”

Seventy times seven… Forever… Completely…

Enough to become more like Jesus.

Verses to Meditate Upon:

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Mark 11:25 (NLT)

“Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:9 (NLT)

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

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