“I really need a friend.” 

Have you ever thought you could really use a friend? Maybe you prayed for the Lord to send you a friend in a new city, job, group or church.

Since our family spent over thirty-five years in full-time church ministry and lived in different towns and states, friendship became somewhat of a lifeline. So I usually prayed for at least one friend at each new place.

Have you ever prayed that the Lord would send you a friend?

Early in our marriage, we moved to a small farm town in a new state. Our daughter was only eighteen months old at the time.

Gracious ladies from the church brought us dinner for a few nights and I unpacked boxes while our daughter napped during the day. 

Still, I’ll never forget the Sunday when a young woman approached me after a service. “Do you need anything? Let me know if you need anything.” Her sentiments seemed honest and heartfelt. 

I politely thanked her and continued with: No, we are fine.

But as I started to walk away, I felt the Lord nudging me to turn back around and tell her I needed a friend. With the Lord helping me to be brave, I walked toward her: I thought of something I need, I really need a friend.

You know what? We formed a wonderful friendship and kept in touch when my family moved again. It was a God-thing.

Created for Friendship

The enemy wants us to believe the lie that we are “fine” without friends. Or, that you and your family have each other and you don’t need friends in your community.

The enemy wants us to believe the lie that we are “fine” without friends. Or, that you and your family have each other and you don’t need friends in your community. @FridayKaren #friendship
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But it’s not true. God created us for relationship and community. First, the Lord desires that we are in relationship with him. Have you found a friend in Jesus?

Next, God intended for us to be in relationship with people. This includes family and friends. 

It’s a good thing for a husband and wife to be friends—even best friends. Yet, the Lord never intended it to stop there. Instead, God wants women to make connections with other women and men with other men.

Praying for a Friend

Perhaps it never occurred to you to pray for friends. But we need friends as much as our kids have this need. Here are some examples of when to pray for friendships. 

1.     When you move to a new neighborhood.

2.     Your family moves to a new town.

3.     If you go back into the workforce or start a new job.

4.     If you attend a new church.

5.     You homeschool your children.

6.     When you work from home.

7.     If you are in ministry or missions.

8.     A friend moves away or exits your life.

This list is not exhaustive, but gives you some ideas of when to pray for friends. 

Listen to your heart, it will know when you need a good friend.

Specific Prayers When You Need a Friend

Here are a few specific prayers.

Lord, thank you that you have called me friend (John 15:15). Help me to cherish my relationship with you above all others. Please send me a friend in our new town who is in relationship with you so we can mutually encourage and build each other up. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

Heavenly Father, let your light shine through me and become a friend to a woman who desperately needs one. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

God, you created us to do life together, you created friendship. Direct my steps to the friends you want in my life. I desire to sharpen someone else as they sharpen me (Proverbs 27:17).

Lord, your word describes friendship as kind, honest, loving, forgiving, and how the “righteous choose their friends carefully” (Proverbs 12:26). Give me the desire and wisdom to strive for this kind of friendship, wherever I am. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

Reflect on if you need to pray for a friend in an area of your life or if you need to pray to be that friend to someone.

Also see, Never Underestimate Prayer.

Featured image courtesy of Adobe Express.

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These words, spoken by Jesus and recorded in the gospel of Matthew, were in the heart of my decision, as I recently chose to confront someone close to me. I had spent the weekend wallowing in sadness and confusion, trying to understand the rudeness and anger that had come out of the mouth of someone I love like family. As I prayed about it, I felt God pressing me to do the easiest, however hardest thing to do: Simply ask what the problem was.

As I climbed the steps to reach the room where we would speak in private, I could feel my stomach turning and cold sweat forming in the palms of my hands. Going against my non-confrontational nature and knowing the person’s typically volatile personality, I wasn’t sure of the outcome. But I knew that talking about the negative behavior was the only chance of saving our friendship.

Instead of starting with small talk, I took a deep breath and went right to the point. We both knew there was a problem, and there was no point in lingering on the weather or politics. I took a non-accusatory tone and spoke in love, calmly asking for the reason for the outburst. As our conversation progressed, I found out that the anger was not directed at me at all. This person was going through a hard time that day and allowed worries and concerns to take over as we spoke earlier that week. There was no intention of hurting me.

After a long conversation, our relationship was restored as I extended the same forgiveness and grace that I hope to receive when I fail, but not before I made it clear that boundaries were crossed and that it shouldn’t happen again. After this incident, I have a feeling, in fact, I know  our relationship will be better than it’s ever been. All because, instead of sweeping the issue under the rug, I chose to face it and establish much needed boundaries that should make our relationship stronger and healthier.

“Perception is reality.”

This quote, commonly attributed to late American political consultant and adviser Lee Atwater, together with my recent experience, were strongly in my mind when I was asked for advice regarding a strained relationship recently. After talking to both sides, I was able to clearly see how one’s perception had become the other person’s reality, driving a deep wedge between two people who dearly love each other, but chose to part ways, other than facing the elephant in the room. I can’t help but wonder how many relationships end every day, simply because people chose the seemingly easy road, closing doors and shutting people out of their lives, instead of choosing to openly hear the other side.

Our perception is our reality, indeed, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is someone else’s reality. There’s no question that certain relationships are toxic and need to end. But I also believe that, in many instances, family relations would be stronger and friendships would be more lasting, if only we would take our time to listen to the other side, setting our hurts aside for a minute, and putting ourselves in their shoes.

Indeed, it takes bravery and strength to hear those who hurt us with empathy, forgive them, set our boundaries, and give them another chance. But I believe it is not only the right thing to do, I believe it’s the only way to have peace, joy and relationships that last a lifetime.

Patricia Holbrook is a Christian author, blogger and International speaker. Her Book Twelve Inches is on sale at Barnes & Nobles, Amazon and retailers worldwide. Visit her website www.soaringwithHim.com. Email pholbrook@soaringwithHim.com

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