My daughters and I started studying together the book of Proverbs last month. As I prayed about the theme of the next bible study, the Lord made it clear that I was to put together an insightful, thorough material on Solomon’s most quoted words. Therefore, using my notes from the great discussions I’ve had with my girls, commentaries, and spiritual insights, I started putting together the first draft of the next Bible study for Soaring with Him Ministries.

Like many seasoned Christians, I have read the book of Proverbs many times in the past 25 years. I have quoted it repeatedly in my writings and speaking engagements.

The wisest man who ever lived, King Solomon, indeed left us the most compelling collection of words on wisdom in three volumes: Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Solomon. These words are widely applicable to people of any age, sex, race, or economic status. The collection of universal truths in these volumes is as complete as it is compelling.

Perhaps my favorite trait in Solomon’s writings is his candid, direct disapproval of all types of unrighteousness and foolishness. For the reader with an open heart and ear, Solomon does not pat you on the back or skirts around the subjects.

He tells it like it is. 

And a wise woman should pay close attention. After all, the man is a master when it comes to the female mind and heart. It’s no wonder. Solomon had more experience than anyone else in the female arena. 1 Kings 11:3 tells us that Solomon had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines.”

Lord, help! I can’t begin to fathom the mess!

While preparing my study, I was listing the traits ascribed to a wise woman in contrast with an immoral or foolish one, when I came across this verse: 

“The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1 (NASB) – emphasis mine. 

As I read those words, examples of women I’ve met through the years rolled across my mind. 

I started thinking about certain women I’ve known whose diligent pursue of wisdom over folly built solid marriages and happy families. 

And yet, several other examples crossed my mind; women who have become the antithesis of what I strive to be as a wife, mother, daughter, and friend. 

A mother (or wife) indeed represents the heart of a home. 

Our children look up to us.

Our husbands need us to feel valued and respected.

And yet, why is it that we find so many Christian women stuck in a destructive cycle of exasperation, anger, gossip, and negativity?

Don’t we realize that it does not matter how many times we grace the doors of our churches, open our bibles, or pray with our children if what they witness at home is the opposite of what we preach?

It does not matter how many times we grace the doors of our churches, open our bibles, or pray with our children if what they witness at home is the opposite of what we preach? #TuesdayMotivation #SolomonWisdom
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Solomon’s words should make us stop in our tracks… and take a somber inventory of our lives as Jesus-loving women.

If God called you into account today, where would you stand in the following categories:

1) Women who love to pick a fight over every little thing:

If your husband were honest, would he think of you while reading the following words:

“It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.” Proverbs 21:19 (NLT)

Or

“It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.” Proverbs 25:24 (KJV)

2) Women who constantly complain:

It doesn’t matter your reasons, honestly. No one wants to hear constant complaining and bickering!  

“A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.” Proverbs 27:15-16 (NLT)

3) Women who slander and gossip:

Are you tempted with gossiping? Or slandering your neighbor? Are you a judgemental type of person? 

“He who conceals hatred has lying lips, And he who spreads slander is a fool. When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” Proverbs 10:18-19

In other words, are you building up your house/marriage/friendships? Or are you tearing down your relationships with your own bare hands?

Wisdom is the fuel that propels the words of a righteous woman. #TuesdayMotivation #WiseWoman #SolomonWisdom
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She pauses before she speaks.

She praises more than criticizes.

She picks her battles wisely. And fights for what is right.

She keeps secrets.

She encourages.

She knows who she is in Christ… and does not need to brag about her accomplishments.

Her husband is successful. Much because she believes in him. And he knows it.

Her children are secure in the home she helped to build.

The foolish women?

They tear down.

With their words, actions, indiscretion, perversion or pride. They tear down homes, businesses, marriages, confidence, friendships and even countries.

But a woman who fears the Lord and seeks Him before acting?

Her blessed hands build.

May God help us, Jesus girls, realize that on the day we stand before the Lord to give an account for our actions and words, we will have no excuses.

We won’t be able to justify our actions as a response to someone else’s.

Will you be counted as a wise woman of God?

The post A Foolish Woman Tears her House Down appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

Alan Redpath was a well-known 20th Century British evangelist, preacher, and author. He led a church in Richmond, London until 1953, when he moved to the United States and became the pastor of the historic Moody Memorial Church in Chicago for nine years. He returned to the United Kingdom in 1962, where he continued his ministry until his death in 1984.

I came across a story told by Redpath in the book “A Passion for Preaching,” which offered what I believe to be a practical test against gossip. According to Redpath, one of the congregations he pastored was going through a time of stress, intensified by an insidious surge of gossip among its members. While confronting the group about the environment created by this trend, Redpath encouraged his pastorates to apply a simple formula before speaking of any person or subject that was perhaps controversial. The method used the acronym T.H.I.N.K.:

T – Is it True?

H – Is it helpful?

I – Is it inspiring?

N – Is it necessary?

K – Is it kind?

“If what I am about to say does not pass those tests,” said Redpath, “I will keep my mouth shut.”

The Book of Proverbs is one of the best pieces of literature brimming with insights and wisdom on the impact of our words. From beautiful, encouraging verses concerning the power of a word spoken at the right time, to straight-forward, harsh admonishments on the importance of self-control when it comes to one’s speech, I often turn to Solomon’s wisdom to keep my own heart in check when it comes to how I communicate with others.

There is a good reason for that. As a true sanguine, I used to have a natural inclination to speak my mind when I was younger – a harmful tendency which created much heartache and loss.

Several years ago, during one of my pastor’s sermons, while talking about the importance of our words, he shared about how one can quickly determine the depth and authenticity of a person’s faith walk. The lesson within the sermon stuck with me through the years. He said: “If you were to be honest with yourself, would you say your conversations with friends revolve around other people, facts, or concepts?”

Think about it. We will naturally have superficial conversations. We enter an elevator, for example, greet a stranger, and often talk about the weather, compliment their dress or the beautiful baby in their arms. We will not engage in a meaningful conversation during our two-minute ride to the 20th floor.

But when it comes to our more intimate relationships with our friends, what conversations hold our hearts together? Is it meaningful talks about life, or do we tend to park our discussions on what others are or are not doing, judging their decisions and choices?

In other words, do I tend to gravitate to talking about other people in a negative light, or do I prefer to discuss ideas and beliefs? The answer should determine our priorities and the depth of our character.

Do I tend to gravitate to talking about other people in a negative light, or do I prefer to discuss ideas and beliefs? The answer should determine our priorities and the depth of our character.
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Indeed, I believe that it does not matter how many times we grace the doors of our places of worship. It does not matter if we can quote Scriptures or if we serve in any capacity at our local church or synagogue. If we do not T.H.I.N.K. before we speak or spread gossip instead of stopping them, our religion becomes worthless.

King Solomon delivers a stern warning against gossip: “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”

King Solomon delivers a stern warning against gossip: A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. Proverbs 16:28
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We all know that Alan Redpath’s church is not the first or last congregation nearly destroyed by gossip and slander. Many are the temples which have dwindled, divided or closed down entirely because of lack of wisdom and harsh judgment against other people’s lives.

May we strive to seek purity of heart when we deal with each other, extending grace to those who make choices we do not approve, lest our religion becomes nothing but a social activity, and our place of worship nothing but another membership club.

May we strive to seek purity of heart when we deal with others, lest our religion becomes nothing but a social activity, and our place of worship nothing but another membership club.
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This article was originally published on Patricia’s Column for The Atlanta Journal-Consitution on Saturday – July 20, 2019.

The post Deliver us from Gossiping! {The Atlanta Journal Constitution} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.