I watched his eyes sparkle and his smile widen as we talked about the parallel between nature and the seasons of life.

We have that in common, daddy and I – we tend to introspectively stretch our hearts to see God’s hand in everything. And nature is undoubtedly one of the most common canvases where our poetic veins soar in search of meaning for life’s highs and lows.

At 87, dad still inspires me with his positive outlook on life, even though he has struggled with health issues for several months. As I sat across him this morning, he talked about how God rescued him from depression by showing him how blessed he is, compared to so many people around.

I said a silent prayer, asking God to help me never to forget these rare moments when I go back home to America in a couple of weeks.

Watching my parents age in the past several years has been so hard. Whether it’s due to the natural decline of an aging body or the shadows that depression sometimes brings to seniors, witnessing the strong man and woman who raised me with such wit and energy become a shadow of themselves has been challenging. The issue becomes even more challenging because of the continent that separates us.

To those of us who are blessed to have parents who live a long life, we must face the decision of how involved we will be as they enter the winter of their lives.

To those of us who are blessed to have parents who live a long life, we must face the decision of how involved we will be as they enter the winter of their lives. @AJC
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According to a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services report, there is a “senior loneliness epidemic” in America. Approximately one in three seniors live alone, and those who no longer drive may spend long days isolated and go days or weeks without seeing loved ones. More than a third of senior adults feel lonely.

Likewise, experts found that loneliness increases the risk of death by 30 to 60% and is linked to depression and chronic health problems.

When God gave Moses the Ten Commandments found in the 20th chapter of the book of Exodus, he deliberately included a promise in the Fifth Commandment:

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
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After fleeing Egypt and wandering in the wilderness for 40 years, God’s people would inherit the coveted Promise Land. They needed laws and guidance to establish their society under God’s protection and favor. The Ten Commandments became the very first law to guide a people group that lived under the influence of a pagan culture for over four centuries.

We should not overlook God’s unique focus on the commandment to honor one’s father and mother. There is a reason He tagged a promise along with this commandment. As 17th-century minister and author Matthew Henry states in his commentary:

“(…) here, a long life in that good land is promised particularly to obedient children. Those that do their duty to their parents are most likely to have the comfort of that which their parents gather for them and leave to them; those that support their parents shall find that God, the common Father, will support them.”

We should not overlook God’s unique focus on the commandment to honor one’s father and mother. There is a reason He tagged a promise along with this commandment. @AJC
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I agree with Henry. There is a more intrinsic meaning to “a long life” promised to those who honor their parents. The “long life” can also be understood as a spiritually and emotionally abundant life, for I believe God favors and protects those who choose to honor and care for their parents as the prime of their lives dawns.

It’s not always easy and certainly not convenient, but may we take time to care for our parents with the same love we hope to receive one day. May we never forget that we will soon be in their shoes, longing for our children’s love, patience and presence, long after we are no longer needed. 

This article was originally published in Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Click HERE to find it on the AJC’s website.

The post Honor Your Aging Parents {the Atlanta Journal-Constitutional} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

For the past several years, I have been in constant prayer about some mothers I know and their children, whose relationships are filled with unforgiveness, separation or constant conflict.

In each of these situations, I can easily understand the motives behind the estrangement: overbearing and controlling mothers, children who neglect or disrespect their mothers, mothers who hurt their children deeply, whether by actions or with harsh words.

Thoughtless actions … selfish actions … intentional or unintentional deeds that create a wedge between two flawed human beings, nonetheless bearing a void in a person’s heart that cannot be replaced.

As a mom, my heart hurts every time I pray for these mothers. I cannot imagine not talking to my children for months, or years. As a daughter, I often understand the anger and certainly the void it creates, because it was my own for many years. And in each case, I can clearly see that God put these ladies in my life because I can somehow relate to their stories.

For over two decades, my relationship with mom was superficial, at best. As a child, my mom was not very present, and when she was, she was hardly the nurturing kind. As my parents’ marriage started suffering and ultimately ended up in divorce during my teenage years, our relationship became even worse. For far too long, I had a mixture of contempt and indifference toward my mom. The outcome was a heart filled with bitterness and anger, and a deep sense of unfulfillment that constantly spread to all other relationships in my life.

It wasn’t until I turned 25 and became a Christian that I started understanding the depths of God’s forgiveness and grace, and my own condition as a completely flawed human being, that I could finally open my heart to let God heal the pain and ultimately restore our relationship. Today, we live as two happy, redeemed souls, restored and renewed, and bound together by a deep love and appreciation for each other. It’s nothing short of a miracle. Really.

Earlier this week, as I thought about this column, one of God’s commandments in Scriptures crossed my mind: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” The fifth on the list written in the book of Exodus, this well-known commandment is the only one which contains a promise. God promises that, if we honor our parents, we shall have a long life. But as we dive into the intrinsic meaning of these words, I believe there is more than what meets the eye: Honoring our parents not only pleases God, but it also translates into living a more fulfilling, better life. A life that is more infused with peace, contentment and completion.

For most of my readers, Mother’s Day is probably filled with love and gratitude, honor and joy. I am forever thankful to God that today I am also found on that list, both as a mother and as a daughter. But for my readers who are estranged from their mothers, even if for very good reasons, my prayer is that you will find it in your heart to mend the broken bridges, reach out to the woman who gave you life or raised you, offering the same grace that you wish to receive when you fail.

I was studying the Old Testament not long ago and had a wonderful revelation. In the Hebrew language, the word for “compassion” comes from the root word, “womb.” It’s the picture of birthing something new, or giving someone another chance. I don’t think I came across that insight by coincidence.

As we celebrate this Mother’s Day, may we extend love and compassion to the one who carried us in her womb, or raised us as if she had. May we mend bridges if need be. May we learn to love our mothers with more grace and less judgment. May we honor our mothers, that we may have peace, and find life at its very best.

As we celebrate this Mother’s Day, may we extend love and compassion to the one who carried us in her womb, or raised us as if she had. May we mend bridges if need be. May we learn to love our mothers with more grace and less judgment.…
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This article was originally published in Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution on Saturday – May 12, 2018.

The post This Mother’s Day, Give Mom Forgiveness, Compassion and Grace {The Atlanta Journal Constitution} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.