It was a Sunday afternoon after church, December 2004, when my oldest son, a freshman in college at the time, walked in the front door, through the kitchen, into the family room and emptied his pockets of his most prized possessions, laying them gently on his daddy’s chest.

The weight of my son’s wallet, checkbook and car keys woke my napping husband. As if innately ready for turbulent air, he pulled his “dad” recliner to its upright position.

“What’s this?” he inquired, looking at the bundle of goodies on his chest.

My husband who we refer to as Big David when lil David is around (I told him having the same name would be confusing one day), always told the boys if they blew it, (meaning if they weren’t responsible with what had been given them) their car, and their money would go back to the original owner. Him.

With a sheepish chuckle lil David humbly mumbled, “I got my grades.”

I’m not sure what Big David was feeling, but for me, call me a pessimist, but I knew in the pit of stomach what was coming next was not good.

Lil David had just finished his first semester at Auburn University. I talked to him on a weekly basis and every time I asked him how it was going, he answered.

“Everything’s good mom.”

“You’re sure?” I’d say.

“Yes ma’am.” he’d answer.

And like a big dummy, I believed him. This day would prove to crush my naive reality.

His dad went on to ask him, “So what did you make son?“

With another uncomfortable chuckle Lil David snorted, “Uh, .5.”

His Dad responds, “You mean a 1.5?”

“No sir, you heard me right, a point five.”

I thought, Jesus was a commin’ any minute because this was surely the end of life as we knew it!

Everything was pretty much a blur after that. I was in full-on panic mode. Thoughts went racing through my mind.

Surely this cannot be happening.

This is not what I expected

This was not what I imagined.

This is not what I had planned.

What will he do?

What will we tell people?

What will they think?

This is not ideal.

This was not one bit of MY ideal.

And it wasn’t. I had made big plans as to how my son’s life would run or should run and this wasn’t it.

Nope, it was more like:

He would go to Auburn, get his degree and pilots license. Meet some nice Christian girl (who would just happen to adore me) with a degree and a good job. They would get married. He would secure a job with an airline and we would forever fly anywhere and everywhere for free. Package deal with a big whopping bow on top.

Yep, that about sums it up.

How often do our realities get crushed because we make plans without considering the plans God has for us and those closest to us?

We often have ideals that simply aren’t real.

And when we think this way we set ourselves up for disappointment with our kids, with our spouses, careers and life.

Sure it’s good to set goals—for ourselves that is. But making goals for our children or spouses sets us up and them for failure.

It’s okay to tell God our ideas and ideals as long as we finish with, Lord, but Your will and plans are perfect. May it be done as you think best.

And then stand back baby and watch Him work!

I finally did.

My son didn’t take what I thought should be the traditional path. He took a better path with a detour…or two in between. But those redirects took him exactly where God wanted him to be.

An Air Force career and two degrees later, he has his dream wife and a new dream job. And a whole bunch of learned wisdom he might have not garnered otherwise.

Which was probably God’s ideal for him. Much better than mine I might add.

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9

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After persistent pleading, I finally agreed to play Mario Kart with my daughters. Our teenager had asked us to purchase the video game at the end of the school year, so they could enjoy it during their summer vacation. I was reluctant, since my plan was to spend the summer enjoying fun outdoor activities, while cutting screen time to a minimum.

Thanks to endless rainy days, my summer plans didn’t stand. Needless to say, there are only so many activities that a mother can come up with indoors.

That’s how I found myself with a Wii remote control in my hand, trying to figure out how to play my girls’ new favorite game.

The game is pretty simple. You hold a certain button on the remote control, which helps you accelerate, while turning the control to avoid walls, other cars, and – every so often – dark abysses.

The screen is split in two, so that you can watch your opponent’s race as well.

In the first several attempts, I did not have to do much to find myself hammered against walls, falling in abysses, and ending in last place. Mom was certainly having a hard time adapting to the oh-so-sensitive remote control.

But after playing the game for a while, my hands became steadier and my stats started improving.

As I realized that my little car had finished in fourth, then third place, my competitive spirit kicked in and I decided to get ahead of my opponents.

That’s when I started playing with one eye on my screen and the other on my daughter’s race.

I wanted to know her placement.

I had to see what extra powers she had acquired.

I tried to copy her moves.

And every time my eyes got off my lane, my race, I watched my little car plunge into an abyss, or hit a wall.

So long as I kept my eyes on my game, my car ended pretty well. Not first place — but not bad for this Atari generation mom. But the moment I decided to pay attention to the other cars in the race, I would lose my place and fall behind.

The popular video game made me think of something that I believe has become increasingly challenging in our society.

In this era of social media and reality TV shows, where we find ourselves comparing our not-so-glamorous lifestyles, inexpensive summer plans or struggling relationships to the Joneses on the screen, I believe many of us are crashing and burning, simply because we don’t focus on our own race.

Many of us are crashing and burning, simply because we don’t focus on our own race.
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Whether comparing our bodies, children, marriages, jobs, friendships or ministries, we are living at a time of social distraction, where the grass seems always greener on the other side, and we often fall in the trap of pushing our way into someone else’s lane.

As I browse through my journal for the past year or so, it is evident that God has been working on this very issue in my life: “Stay focused on your race. Do not compare. Do not copy others. Just listen to My prompting and follow Me.”

Just as my thumbprints are unique, so are God’s plan for my life. My neighbor’s race was never meant to be a standard by which I measure my own success. Her fingerprints are hers. So is her race. God’s timing for each story is unique to that person’s readiness to fulfill their destiny. We must not forget that.

God’s timing for each story is unique to that person’s readiness to fulfill their #destiny.
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May God help us stop wasting precious time and energy comparing ourselves to or mimicking others. Rather, let us concentrate on doing our very best on the lane God gave us to run. For then, even if we do not finish first, even if our journey is not as rich and full of applause as someone else’s, all that matters is that we finish our exclusive, individual course, and finish it well. That’s true success, not necessarily as the world views it. It’s success – God’s way.

This article was originally published in Patricia’s Column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution (AJC) on Saturday July 8th, 2017.

Struggling to stay focused on your own race? Constantly comparing yourself to others? Read this!
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Anyone could see by the expression on my face that I wasn’t ok. My people always know when a cloud descends upon my spirit. It simply wasn’t a good day.

The day turned into a week of gloom.

I had a hard time opening my Bible, and, when I did, the words sounded like a mantra, rather than true comfort.

Silence is a refuge when sadness permeates my days. I’m not one to voice disappointments regarding my circumstances.

But my heart was complaining.

Pitching a fit.

Borderline angry.

After a couple of days living as a recluse in my own house, I decided to talk. And so I voiced my disappointment regarding the circumstances.

I voiced what was hiding in my heart all along: My lack of understanding. The lack of apparent meaning for the valley we face.

And right there, as the words that were clouding my heart came out of my mouth, I could feel His Presence in the room.

Watching… Listening…

The One who doesn’t need my words, because He reads my heart.

And even as I spoke, I knew the answer.

“My thoughts are not your thoughts; neither are your ways My ways.” Isaiah 55:8

My lips may not have questioned Him…

But my heart certainly did.

Have you ever found yourself in that same position? When you know the answer, even before you pose the question?

When you look back and see God’s faithfulness displayed, over and over again, and yet, your heart rehearses a tantrum when a new trial comes along?

Are you nodding right now?

You’ve seen His hand in the desert. His miraculous mana falling down from Heaven. Just enough for each day.

You’ve experienced His peace in the midst of the fiercest war.

You’ve witnessed His healing in your body, and soul.

Until there comes along a new trial… and although you KNOW… your heart forgets.

And instead of telling your heart the Truth, you allow it to be distracted by the lies. So you find yourself acting like someone who doesn’t know better…

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.” Philippians 2:14-16

When Paul wrote these words, I believe he had these moments in mind.

These very human moments in the life of the believer. Moments when we know the right answer, and yet choose to deny our faith with our words… or deeds.

Moments when the enemy of our soul smiles, accomplished. Because he gets from us exactly what he wanted:

Questioning Yahweh’s sovereignty…

Doubting His unchanging goodness and grace.

And, often, shaking the strength of our testimony to those who watch us walk through the storm.

But, you know what I found out?

I found out that God’s gaze towards me that day was not one of reprimand and judgement.

It was one of Grace.

Instead of looking down on me, He lavished me with compassion, as if to say:

I know you. I love you. I understand. I forgive you.

Now look up. Pick up the pieces. Refocus.

On ME.

I guess that’s one of the reasons He calls me His child.

Because sometimes, on some of those hard days, I act like one. A child, that is.

And that’s ok.

Really.

That’s why grace is so awesome, you know? Because it doesn’t matter how many times we mess up, His Grace always restores, forgives and forgets.

And this Grace is what makes me smile again.

No – the trial isn’t over. There’s not an end in sight.

Still, the Sun is shining down on me, lifting my spirit as the rays of springtime pierce through the window.

So I rise, refocused and replenished by the promise that nothing escapes from Yahweh’s sovereign grasp.

So I rise,refocused & replenished by the promise that nothing escapes from God’s sovereign grasp.
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And if He allows it, then It must be good.

Oh, it must be so good!

That’s why I choose to make the certainty of God’s promises the anchor of my heart.

“When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, saying, “I will surely bless you and give you many descendants.” And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised. “Hebrews 6:13-16

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Some of my fondest memories from childhood were made in Caputera – a small, backwards fisherman’s village in South Brazil, where I spent every Summer vacation as a child. When my great-grandparents immigrated to Brazil from Spain in the 1800’s, they founded the village together with other families. My grandparents inherited the land where they built a small ranch as their summer retreat.

Even thought the world was changing everywhere else in the late 70’s, time seemed to stand still in Caputera.

It was my little paradise. A place where this city girl could run carefree all summer. A place filled with fresh food, pure fun and easy laughter.

My childhood’s happy place.

I loved daytime in Caputera – we would run wildly all day, playing in the saltwater lake and harvesting peanuts and grapes as snacks. But nighttime was my favorite.

You see, the village didn’t have electricity until the late 70’s, therefore we didn’t have TV programs to watch or board games to play. Instead, we would sit by the fire, listening to my great aunt tell ghost stories, or, my favorite – grandpa would turn out the kerosene lamps so we could be in total darkness as we studied the constellations – his very favorite subject.

Granddaddy didn’t finish high school, but the man was a wealth of wisdom and knowledge. He knew the name of every constellation and loved to use the darkness to sharpen our eyes so we could study the beauty of God’s creation in the heavens. He called the constellations by name as I watched the skies, mesmerized.

Without complete darkness, we wouldn’t be able to see the beauty of the stars buried behind the city lights.

Without complete darkness, we wouldn’t be able to watch God’s majesty unravel before our eyes.

I was always amazed of how much I could see and hear when the lights went off. Things that I never noticed before became clear before my young eyes. Sounds were sharper, stars were brighter.

Darkness brought forth hidden treasures like nothing else.

Growing in Dark and Silent Places

In the realms of nature, darkness and shadows are places of growth and beauty.

Darkness brings out the beauty of stars. Certain flowers only flourish in the shadows. The famous, lush green fields of Scotland thrive under the shade of their continual fog. And it’s in the silence of the forest that we can best hear the birdsong.

Nature grows and shows its beauty in the darkness because it doesn’t fight its Maker. It simply yields to His methods, allowing His ways to bring beauty out of seemingly hopeless places.

I don’t know about you, but when I find myself in the darkness of my circumstances, whether for lack of answers or because of troubles that weigh me down, my tendency is to try to find out what lesson God is trying to teach me, or what He wants me to “do” to get me out of the valley and onto the next mountaintop.

My ever-busy mind keeps trying to figure out the next step… or understand His ways, when I know (that I know that I know)… that His ways are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8).

My restless hands keep reaching out in an attempt to do something; to turn the lights back on again… when all He wants is for me to sit in His presence, however dark it may feel, and find contentment and joy in His eternal light.

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1

Sometimes the lesson during a time of silent waiting and dark valleys is simply one of TRUST.

The lesson may be simply taking our faith to the next level, where we find ourselves filled with joy even though we cannot see where He is leading us.

Simply. Because. We. Know. HE. Is. Leading.

In this season of waiting… or of darkness…
His voice is louder.
His light is brighter.
His protection is sure.

As I quietly rest under the shadow of the Most High…
As I deliberately choose to dwell in the shelter of the Almighty…
And although the light seems to be vanished from my life for a season…

I know He is accomplishing much richer things within me.

Like the confidence of the things I hope for and the assurance about what I do not see (Hebrews 11:1) … which cannot be obtained until I am blind to the future.

It’s accomplishing TRUE FAITH.

But I must choose not to fear the darkness.
I must choose to sit under His shadow, as still as I can be.
Knowing that even the darkness was created by Him.
And the shadow is nothing but a projection of His presence.

Be still, my heart.

And focus on the bright stars which the darkness tries to hide.

They conceal worlds of promises… eternal… infinite… bright. They were spoken of in the Psalms, by the prophets… and sealed as Messiah breathed His last.

Just as the sky on those warm Summer nights of my youth, endless and bright… so is our God’s unfailing Love for me… and you.

Be still, my heart.
And Know.
He IS forever God.
Forever Faithful.

Forever Yours.

LINKUP TIME – #SoaringwithJesus

I am so excited to announce the first #SoaringwithJesus LinkUp party at my blog!

Starting tomorrow, after 7 a.m., I will open the linky for you to add your own post. I’d love to connect with you on Twitter with the #SoaringwithJesus hashtag. Post your story of whatever God is doing in your life or the lives of those you love. You don’t need to be a professional writer. You won’t be judged. You are simply welcome. The only requirement is that you love Jesus with all your heart. And that you wish to glorify His Name through your words and testimony.

In order to participate, here’s what you have to do:

1. Write your blog story.
2. Come to my blog and use the easy-to-follow LinkUp at the end of this post.
3. Copy and paste the permalink for your post.
4. Find one or two of the bloggers who posted before you, visit their blogs and leave an encouraging comment.
5. Link their posts on Twitter with the hashtag #SoaringwithJesus
6. Don’t forget to like our Facebook page, and follow us on Twitter.
7. Promote this Linkup on your social walls – invite your blogger friends to join us!
8. I would appreciate it if you used our button on your site and let us know you are part of this community (you can find the button permalink on our sidebar – just copy and paste)
9. Leave a comment on this blog.
10. Be Encouraged to Keep spreading the Good News: He LOVES us and DESIGNED us to SOAR!

You are a blessing to me! Happy LinkUp!! #SoaringwithJesus @PatHolbrook

Patricia

The post Growing in Dark and Silent Places – #SoaringwithJesus appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

Passage:

Key Verses: “As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:10-11

“Did you do your best, honey?”

 “Yes, mommy, I did” she quietly said.

“Did you study for the test, double-checked your answers?”

 “I did, mommy, I promise.”

 She was at the verge of tears.

My heart sunk. I felt helpless and dumb. The grade was pretty unacceptable and it wasn’t her first that month.

I found myself hating Pre-Algebra all over again.

No, I didn’t think about pre-algebra when I said yes to homeschooling my children. No, sire, pre-algebra was not in my “cons” list. I actually didn’t have a “pros and cons” list at all. I simply knew that God was calling us to enroll our girls in a hybrid school, where they go to school some days and homeschool on the others. I figured we would do just fine; after all, I was only going to serve as a facilitator and booboo kisser on homeschool days.

Wrong! Was I ever wrong.

I was also the one who was supposed to be able to help my babies when they didn’t know what to do. Instead, I looked at pre-algebra papers and wondered how on earth I made it through school thirty years ago.

Nice. Really nice, Patricia. What were you thinking?

Did God really say…?

That’s when I started questioning God on a decision that He guided us through, step-by-step. We knew it was His will. We sought His confirmation and received it.

But at the first obstacle, at the first not-so-comfortable situation, I decided I must have misunderstood Him.

I wish I could say that that was the first time in my 20 years as a Christian that I doubted His direction when things didn’t go as planned. I wish I could put on the super-Christian cape and claim that I always tell my heart to quiet down when things start getting out of (my) control.

But.it.just.isn’t.so.

 I’m just glad I’m in good company.

Several of the Giants of Faith of Hebrews 11 struggled with the same sort of unbelief before they reached the place where they could always see with eyes of unshaken faith.

Think Sarah laughing at the thought of a baby in her barren womb… Genesis 18:12

Think Abraham doubting His Covenant Promise and agreeing to a shortcut … Genesis 16:2

Think Moses keeping his eyes on His inadequacies instead on the promise that I AM was with Him… Exodus 4

Think Peter denying Christ after offering to die for Him… John 18:15-27

Think Thomas touching the wounds after seeing the Risen Savior… John 20:27

Truthfully, when God gives us a direction or a promise, we all usually start on the right path, acting as those who truly believe… only to halt at the sight of an obstacle that is bigger than our abilities… an unexpected outcome… or become anxious and jump ahead of God when we think that He is taking too long.

Still, God’s words to Isaiah ring true to every single promise He makes to His Covenant children:

“So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55: 11

I’m glad that we pressed on and survived pre-algebra last year.

Algebra 1 has been the promise fulfilled, as our daughter’s A’s confirm that we passed another (faith) test when I chose to remind my heart to believe and trust… and simply press on in obedience. But I know many other times will come, when I will be tempted to question God’s ways, and wonder if I missed the right turn on His path for me, simply because He has chosen to mold me in the process.

My ultimate response, I pray, will remain the same:

I’ll tell my heart to believe.

And in the meantime, while I cannot see the full scope of His promises, I’ll choose to keep on seeking Him… trusting Him… listening to His guidance… obeying His Word.

Knowing with all my heart that, in His perfect time, I will delight as His Word of Promise returns completely fulfilled… just as He said it would.

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