According to a survey performed by the website Statista.com between Oct. 25 and Nov. 2, 2022, the top 5 New Year’s resolutions for 2023 have not changed from the year before: Exercising more is No. 1, followed by eating healthier, losing weight, saving more money and spending more time with family and friends.

Certain elements are undoubtedly crucial to accomplish goals: Perseverance, self-control, and determination are at the top of the list. Likewise, challenging our self-imposed limitations is essential to reaching any objective.

But another essential characteristic is at the heart of every success: establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries.

Think about it — a perfectly good practice can become harmful without boundaries. Likewise, relationships that were once joyful can turn unbearably toxic without them.

If we were to perform a survey, I am confident we would be surprised at how many people reach the end of a year with a negative emotional balance regarding certain relationships. It could be a struggling marriage, an estranged child, or a friendship that saps our energy instead of filling our hearts with joy.

If we were to perform a survey, I am confident we would be surprised at how many people reach the end of a year with a negative emotional balance regarding certain relationships. @ajc @LysaTerKeurst @Proverbs31org…
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Regardless, instead of pushing through into another year feeling hopeless and defeated, it would do us good to inventory the health of our relationships. As we do, we may conclude that certain people continually hurt us because we have yet to establish healthy boundaries.

Interviewing Lysa Terkeurst

I recently interviewed New York bestselling author and president of Proverbs 31 ministries Lysa Terkeurst about her newly released book, “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes.”

Listen to Patricia's interview with @LysaTerKeurst about #Goodboundariesandgoodbyes #LysaTerkeurst #Proverbs31ministries @Proverbs31org @ajc
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Terkeurst is one of the leading female Christian voices today, with more than 25 books published and a thriving ministry. I have followed her journey for many years and have been inspired by her practical, down-to-earth approach to daily issues that women of faith face.

Terkeurst writes from a place of deep commitment to biblical doctrine, beautifully shining God’s truth into women’s struggles and important faith subjects, often baring her soul to her audience while sharing her journey through dark valleys. Her latest book is no different.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes

In “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes,” Terkeurst shares spiritual wisdom and practical insights from her life, including tools she developed with God’s help and through counseling while navigating the rough waters of a troubled marriage that ended in divorce.

Her book shines a light on how to establish healthy boundaries in troubled, dysfunctional relationships and, whenever all attempts to save it fail, how to say goodbye confidently.

@LysaTerkeurst new book Good Boundaries and Goodbyes shines a light on how to establish healthy boundaries in troubled, dysfunctional relationships and, whenever all attempts to save it fail, how to say goodbye confidently.…
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During our conversation, we discussed how common it is for Christians to have difficulty establishing boundaries and saying goodbye when a relationship becomes unbearably toxic, and the other person refuses to change their behavior.

It’s certainly not unusual for well-intended believers to find themselves in emotionally abusive relationships because they are afraid that establishing boundaries can be perceived as unkind or the opposite of Christlike behavior. Terkeurst explains that not only is that belief incorrect, but it is also not biblical:

“(…) I discovered that boundaries are not just a good idea; they are God’s idea,” she said. “Right from Genesis 1, God formed the earth with boundaries. And then, in the first recorded conversation between God and men (Adam) in Genesis 2, God chose the subject of boundaries (…). I find that fascinating.”

'Boundaries are not just a good idea; they are God’s idea.' ~ LysaTerkeurst #Goodboundariesandgoodbyes #LysaTerkeurst @Proverbs31ministries @Proverbs31org
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Setting Boundaries

Just as it was for Adam and Eve, setting limits is not meant to bind or hurt our relationships. On the contrary, it is intended to set us free and protect us.

Ultimately, setting boundaries is an expression of love. Because allowing our loved ones to push our limits continually is not an expression of love. It’s called enabling bad behavior.

When we set boundaries from a place of love instead of bitterness, we invite our relationships to grow deeper, become more honest, and love people without losing ourselves.

That is certainly a New Year’s goal worth pursuing.

Find out more about Lysa Terkeurst’s ministry and new book: lysaterkeurst.com/. Listen to Patricia’s interview with Lysa on the podcast God-Sized Stories with Patricia Holbrook.

This article was originally published in Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Saturday, December 31, 2022. Click HERE to find it on the AJC’s website.

!!! Lysa is giving away a copy of GOOD BOUNDARIES AND GOODBYES to one of Patricia’s followers!!!

Just share this post or podcast on social media and tag Patricia for a chance to win. The winner will be announced on social media on January 10th.

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Listen to the podcast episode below. If you are reading this in your email, please CLICK HERE to listen to the podcast. This interview is also available on YouTube. CLICK HERE to watch it.

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The post Column & Interview with Lysa Terkeurst – Good Boundaries and Goodbyes appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”

It was by quoting this verse from Psalm 27 that New York Times bestselling author and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries Lysa Terkeurst ended her heart-wrenching blog post on June 13.

The article came as a surprise to many who follow Terkeurst’s popular ministry.

In the same transparent voice that has conquered many followers through her career as a writer and speaker, the 47-year-old announced that she is filing for divorce from her husband of 25 years, due to his repeated infidelity and battle with substance abuse. After extensive counseling, prayer and attempts to reconcile, Terkeurst has concluded that her husband has “abandoned” their marriage. She has therefore decided, in her own words, to “release him to the Savior.”

Like many who follow her ministry, my heart breaks for her, and I have committed to pray daily for her family.

I met Lysa a couple of years ago while attending her annual writer’s conference in North Carolina, and was happy to find the same pleasant, down-to-earth personality that one meets when reading her books.

Her recent story brought to memory several other ministry leaders that I have known through the years, who experienced traumatic circumstances that had the potential to destroy their ministry.

In each instance, the way they responded in the aftermath of the storm determined the course of their future.

Some allowed their circumstances to take over their lives. I’ve watched them give in to immoral lifestyles, or refuse to rise above the pain.

Others, on the contrary, chose to trust God through it all, and therefore I have had the privilege to watch God restore them, and take their ministries to new heights.

Indeed, neither temptation nor pain are strangers to even the most faithful ministry leaders. They can’t be.

For how can we minister to others, unless we know the depth of their suffering?
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And how can we reach out with mercy and grace, if we do not know the weight of our own weaknesses?

We simply cannot.

Lysa herself can attest to that truth. She is not a stranger to pain. Anyone who has read her books or heard her speak understands that she has known rejection, abuse, loneliness and the heavy price of bad choices. And yet, she has committed every heartbreak to a God who can turn our mourning into dancing, and help us find purpose for every valley we cross.

Like a ballerina who fixes her eyes on one spot in order not to lose balance while performing the perfect pirouette, Lysa once again shared her pain, while committing to stay focused on her God. She has lived through enough valleys to know that He is faithful to those who choose to trust Him through the final act.

She says: “I am brokenhearted beyond what I can express. But I am more committed than ever to trusting God, His promises, and His plans, whatever they are from here.”

Indeed, the difference between those who quit after heartbreak and those who rise from the ashes like a phoenix lies in two words: trust and commitment.

There is no question people will disappoint us. Even those we love the most. There is no doubt that dreams will be crushed and that we will suffer loss, sickness, betrayal and heartbreak. It happens to everyone who breathes.

It’s called life.

That’s why I am grateful for people like Lysa Terkeurst, whose confidence in her Maker surmounts her sorrow, teaching us to trust that God can make beauty out of brokenness, and give us the strength to endure the storms.

This article was originally published on my column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution on Saturday – June 24, 2017.

@LysaTerkeurst teaches us again. Read my column for the @AJC
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The post Lysa Terkeurst Teaches Us Again {Atlanta Journal Constitution Column} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.