“It’s easier to build strong children than repair broken men.” Frederick Douglass, abolitionist

Recent research on men’s mental health revealed a shocking reality: Globally, one man dies by suicide every minute. In the U.S., statistics show that men die by suicide at a rate four times higher than women.

In the same bleak reality, an article published by the New York Times on Dec. 7, 2021, concerning a rare public advisory from the U.S. surgeon general office, warned the public of a “devastating” mental health crisis among adolescents. “Numerous hospitals and doctor groups have called it a national emergency, citing rising levels of mental illness, a severe shortage of therapists and treatment options, and insufficient research to explain the trend.”

These unfortunate facts introduced me to a newly released book by licensed family counselor and award-winning author David Thomas. For the past 25 years, Thomas has specialized in counseling boys and their families. His experience and studies offer incredible insight into a crucial aspect of boys’ psyche grossly dismissed by our society: their emotions.

Share this article on Social media, tag Patricia Holbrook, and enter for a chance to win a copy of David’s book.

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Instagram
• Pinterest
• LinkedIn

During my interview with Thomas about his new book, “Raising Emotionally Strong Boys,” we discussed how common it is for boys to grow up with a subliminal message that pushes them into suppressing their emotions instead of learning how to manage them. Because they do not develop the tools to deal with normal feelings of anger, disappointment, and sadness, many men tend to find unhealthy ways to numb their feelings. It is therefore not surprising that they also lead statistics on pornography, infidelity, addictions, and various forms of self-harm.

Because they do not develop the tools to deal with normal feelings of anger, disappointment, and sadness, many men tend to find unhealthy ways to numb their feelings. @AJC #MondayMotivation #DavidThomas #RaisingEmotionallyStrongBoys…
Click To Tweet

I do not have any experience raising boys, but Thomas’ conclusions rang true as I thought about the men in my life and the ingrained message they believed in growing up. Indeed, for generations, we have told boys to “get up and rub dirt” on their wounds and swallow the tears that threaten to fall when sadness or disappointment hit them hard. It is a message that is as loud as it is dangerous since emotions are a congenital part of humanity.

In his book, Thomas offers parents and educators remarkable insight into a boy’s mind and emotional needs and the tools they need to help boys “find their way to the full experience of being human and being fully masculine.”

It is a message as essential as it is timely. As society presses to redefine genders and challenges the lines between masculinity and femininity, Thomas points to Jesus as the perfect example and the missing link from the traditional definition of masculinity. He says: “The longer I study the person of Jesus, the character of Christ, the more I come back to how His strength was founded in tenderness, compassion, mercy and love. They were the pillars of His humanity.”

As society presses to redefine genders and challenges the lines between masculinity and femininity, Thomas points to Jesus as the perfect example and the missing link from the traditional definition of masculinity. @AJC…
Click To Tweet

Indeed, we never find Jesus wavering from His masculinity, even though he expressed His emotions in wonderfully human and tangible ways.

Whether in his books or his practice, Thomas unapologetically leads patients and families into understanding the character of Christ as a man. His strength was defined by sacrifice, humility, compassion and love. He had close relationships with His male friends and was a defender of women. He felt anger at injustice and fear at Gethsemane.

Jesus' strength was defined by sacrifice, humility, compassion and love. He had close relationships with His male friends and was a defender of women. He felt anger at injustice and fear at Gethsemane.
Click To Tweet

Indeed, the gospels show us a Jesus who was entirely in touch with his emotions – He experienced humiliation, betrayal, abandonment, and unbelievable physical pain. Yet, He navigated these human experiences with compassion, patience, and strength. As Thomas said, “His life serves as the ultimate roadmap for how to be a man in this world.”

Yes, boys do cry. And they should. May we seek to learn the tools to help the boys in our lives healthily express perfectly human emotions, lest we raise a generation that feeds the sad reality of despair that the current statistics provide.

Yes, boys do cry. And they should. May we seek to learn the tools to help the boys in our lives healthily express perfectly human emotions, lest we raise a generation that feeds the sad reality of despair that the current statistics…
Click To Tweet

This article was originally published in Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution on Saturday, August 13, 2022. Click HERE to find it on the AJC’s website.

Share this article on Social media, tag Patricia Holbrook, and enter for a chance to win a copy of David’s book.

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Instagram
• Pinterest
• LinkedIn

Click on the graphic below to listen to Patricia’s interview with David Thomas on the God-Sized stories podcast.

Click Below to watch the interview on Patricia’s YouTube channel:

The post Help for our Boys’ Mental Health {The Atlanta Journal-Constitution} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

“And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?”” Matthew 28: 23-24  

Stress has a way of finding us when we least expect it.

Smooth sailing on the open sea of life lands you in the middle of a storm, as the ‘weather’ changes in a matter of minutes. When you are floating along, it’s good to remember, as the storm approaches, (while you still have time) to get the life boat ready, tighten up your life vest, put your important items in your floating containers, and get fit for the task at hand because, you can count on it: the boat is about to rock, and you’re about to get soaked. After the turbulence settles and blue skies appear, you will be glad you were prepared.

Chronic illness is one storm that many encounter along the sea of life. It hits hard, and sometimes it comes with no warning. Those who embrace the storm prepared, may not ever see it subside totally, but they can ride the storm well in God’s life boat. Securely fastened in the life vest of His love, Jesus Christ, they will not drown, but they will certainly get wet. Waves will crash around them, but as they take refuge in His love, they will feel His comfort and will not be swept under the currents of anxiety and fear.

Isaiah 41:10 says: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

In the storms that relationships can sometimes bring, your ocean may be full of the salty tears that you’ve cried over those you love. With Christ wrapped around our body tight, we can envision the rainbow after the storm and it helps us to know that “this too shall pass”.

It is in these storms that we see the importance of change within ourselves vs. trying to change other people. With help, we can learn how to live in these storms without being destroyed by them. All the thunder and lightning that happens when a relationship is broken is scary and makes us feel vulnerable, but with our seat in the lifeboat, Jesus will show us how to swim if we get knocked off our feet and into the water. His Word promises that “He will never leave us or forsake us.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Another storm of change is the aging process.

If we fail to accept this, and begin to go with the boat into dark waters, we will be harmed as we fall overboard. Plastic surgery, a younger spouse, a new home or a new job won’t stop the aging process. Even if we iron out all the wrinkles with plenty of Botox, our days are still numbered and death will eventually knock on our door.

I don’t know about you, but I want to live with joy in my heart, and a smile on my face. I don’t want to be remembered for leaving a trail of heartache behind me from the pain I brought on my family because I couldn’t accept that I was getting older. The time you have left should be full of the eternal things of Christ that give deep fulfillment, not temporary pleasure. 2 Timothy 2:22 says, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” 

As the storms of change rage on in your life, make it count for Christ. Bring some others with you into the lifeboat. Give them the Life Vest and together, embrace the Father.

{This post is a contribution from Stephanie Wilkins for Recharge Wednesday}

LINKUP PARTY at Soaring with Him!

Share your Blog with our audience below:

1. Add your Link.

2. Visit the blogger before or after and encourage them with a comment.

3. Share on social media. Click below to share on Twitter that you are joining us!

4. Grab our Recharge Wednesday LINKUP button and put it somewhere on your blog or blog post. The code is on our sidebar!

I am recharging with @stepheewilkins and @PatHolbrook - The Stressful Storms of Change - JOIN US?
Click To Tweet

The post The Stressful Storms of Change {#RechargeWednesday LINKUP} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.