You’re the pastor’s wife? You’re not what I expected.

Have you ever been anyone’s “not what I expected”? 

If you’ve lived any amount of time on this earth, it’s highly likely. And this certainly wasn’t my first rodeo for not meeting someone’s expectations, and it wouldn’t be my last.

The Wrong Definitions

Because all the wrong ways others attempt to define us, or we attempt to define ourselves, have circulated for countless ages. Really, these false dictionary-attempting claims started in the beginning and in our beginning.

So, let’s look at 4 things, 4 R’s, that never define who we are.

With each one, we discover how God defines who we are from the book of Truth.

(1.) Roots never define who we are.

Plants have roots. Those of us who color our hair have roots. People have roots from childhood and family experiences.

Although I started going to church in elementary school, I didn’t have a spiritual upbringing or grounding in God’s Word. So when my parents divorced, I felt unseen and unheard and unloved.

But when I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior at sixteen, and later had mentors in college and as a woman, I began to grow spiritual roots.

Our root-system in Christ most accurately describes us: loved, chosen, forgiven, and redeemed. 

If your childhood was cut off from a secure source of parents or family. If decisions in your teen and young adult years caused root-damage. Or, if your marriage feels dried up instead of nourishing, the Lord is your source of nourishment for healthy roots, now. 

As we walk closely with the Lord, we become rooted and established in the faith (Colossians 2:6-7).

Jesus establishes our correct identity in Him. 

Jesus establishes our correct identity in Him. @FridayKaren #identity #blog
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(2.) Rejections never define who we are.

Perhaps, like me, rejection yanked the rug out from under your fragile heart too many times.

And rejection leaves a hole in our soul wider than the Grand Canyon. Yet, we make the mistake of equating actions done to us as a title to wear. The actions of others should never pen the labels we stick on ourselves.

Rejection is an action, not a person. Rejection does not make me a reject. 

On the flip side, acceptance is not only an action, but also a living being—God.

Patterned in the image of my Creator accurately describes me: accepted, valued, and precious.

Declare these statements out loud: God wants me. The Lord pursues me. God stays intimately connected to me. The Father never disowns me.

(3.) Roles never define who we are.

As a pastor’s wife for eighteen years, I never met everyone’s ideals of how they defined the role. People are naturally fault-finders in the various roles of life we each step into, especially in the church and among believers.

Why is that? The enemy!

Satan enjoys it when we back-bite, criticize, and tear other Christians down instead of speaking life over each other.

The enemy throws a party of darkness when we speak death and negativity to others instead of encouraging other co-workers, leaders, wives, husbands, moms, dads, siblings, and so on.

Seriously, we hear various opinions on the right way to do just about everything—spiritually and otherwise.

But what if I started weighing criticism from people against who God says I am? Because the scales always tip toward “in Christ” where I’m a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).

What if I started weighing criticism from people against who God says I am? Because the scales always tip toward “in Christ” where I’m a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). @FridayKaren #identity #blog
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And what if I took my cue about who I am from the Great I AM? 

Because my “roles” are blessings from the Lord. God never meant for roles to define me.

I’m fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). This is who I am.

(4.) Ruins never define who we are.

Like ruins from a natural disaster, many of us have times when personal ruins try to highlight the biographies of who we are.

Ruins are inevitable. Eventually our walls tumble. Buried beneath the rubble, we are unable to dig ourselves out. We need a Rescuer. One who promises to dig us out of the rubble and rebuild our lives.

Declare these promises out loud:

When my ruins are wounds, God heals me.

And when my ruins are imprisonment, Christ sets me free. 

When my ruins are losses, the Lord comforts me.

And when my ruins are brokenness, Jesus makes me whole.

Christ lifts me from the rubble and sets me on the stable Rock—Himself.

Who You Are

Reflect on ways you have let roots, rejections, roles, and ruins define you. Where can you change your perspective to line up with God’s Word?

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LINKUP is open. Join my friend @FridayKaren to discuss how we often let others and even ourselves wrongly define who we are. Discover how God defines who we are from the book of Truth. Share your blog! #blog
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The post 4 Things That Never Define Us {Recharge Wednesday LINKUP} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

From visionary director Ava DuVernay, Disney based this epic production on Madeleine L’Engle’s acclaimed classic. The story takes the audience across a dimension of time and space, in a feast of flawless visual effects that left me dazzled, from beginning to end. But behind the dance of colors and masterful display of technology, the movie is filled with meaningful lessons. It is a story about discovering one’s strength by embracing our individuality and flaws, and overcoming fear and darkness by the power of love.

Meg Murry, the main character, is a problematic middle schooler who struggles with the typical insecurities that come with adolescence, heightened by her father’s sudden disappearance. As she joins her gifted brother, a school friend and three celestial guides on a journey through the universe in search of her father, Meg must face her weaknesses in order to harness the strength to defeat the darkness that is quickly enveloping the universe.

At a point in time, when the kids are getting ready to cross to a new dimension, the three guides cannot follow them. That’s when each of the guides bestows a special gift upon the children. Mrs. Whatsit, the flamboyant, comical guide played by Oscar winner Reese Witherspoon, gives Meg a gift that makes the audience chuckle.

“Meg, troubled, problematic Meg — to you, I give you your faults. You’re welcome,” Mrs. Whatsit says.

The irony of the statement lies behind the fact that we hardly consider our flaws a gift. Rather, our tendency is to reject them, hide them and strive to change what we don’t like about ourselves. The plastic surgery industry knows it too well. According to an article by the Business Insider, Americans spent a whopping $8 billion on plastic surgery in 2016. Now, there is certainly nothing wrong about desiring to look better or striving to overcome our flaws. But when it comes to our personality traits, the truth is — many of what we consider flaws are simply strengths that need to be harnessed for good.

I think about one personal trait that, for many years, haunted and sabotaged my relationships: my tongue.

God gifted me with a love for words. According to my mom, when we traveled to my grandparents’ house four hours away, 2-year-old me would start either singing or talking when we backed out of our driveway and would not be quiet for the entire journey. As a teenager, I was involved in debate club, poetry and theater. I was the president of my class from sixth grade through high school. If you needed someone to represent the students, my hand was up in the air. Count me in! I was always ready to present my case.

But my strength quickly became a shortcoming as an untamed tongue brought about hardship and broken relationships. Soon I started hating my “gift.”

It wasn’t until many years later, after becoming a Christian, that I understood that God did not want to change my personality traits. He says his children are “fearfully and wonderfully made” — flaws and all! He just wanted me to surrender my weaknesses and allow him to transform them. In my case, he added two key elements to the gift he had given me: wisdom and discernment. Words without wisdom and discernment can start wars, damage relationships and break spirits. But when they are infused with wisdom and discernment that come from God, they are like a healing balm and a directing compass for those around us. He also taught me the value of holding my tongue — a truly priceless gift!

Words... infused with wisdom and discernment that come from God, are like a healing balm and a directing compass for those around us.
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Indeed, our greatest flaws have the potential to display God’s work and glory to the world. They keep us humble. They keep us dependent upon him. And it is when we acknowledge them and allow God to harness them that they can become our greatest gift.

What is your Achilles heel? Has one of your personality traits become your greatest stumbling block? Could it be that God is waiting for you to surrender it so that he can turn it into your greatest gift?

This article was originally published in Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution on Saturday – April 28th, 2018.

The post Could Your Biggest Weakness Become Your Greatest Strength? {The Atlanta Journal Constitution} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.