A couple rushes to the altar after a short-term courtship. A spouse gives in to lust and commits adultery. A wife spouts off insults against her husband. A mother lashes out at her children with no regard for the damage thoughtless words will cause.

Impulsivity is perhaps one of the most primal instincts known to men, and most everyone is guilty of acting impulsively at least once in their lifetime. A common mark of youth, lack of self-control and restraint often bears consequences that can irreparably impact a young person’s future.

Unfortunately, many individuals never outgrow this trait, struggling with self-control throughout their adult life. This type of behavior is known in psychology as “dysfunctional impulsivity,” and the name translates it perfectly. People who constantly act on impulse come across as out of control, erratic, unstable, and angry, often allowing desires, fear or anger to steer them down a path of destruction and isolation.

The offspring of impulsivity are usually regret and loss. #rechargewednesday
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For certain people, impulsive acts are just that: actions preceded by no regard for consequence. For others, however, impulsivity has broader roots, and their actions are a consequence of deep-set fear, insecurities or jealousy.

Saul’s Jealousy

In my recent study of the book of Psalms, I came across a number of songs written by David when hiding from King Saul, who sought to kill the young man when feeling threatened by his growing popularity among the Jews. As we read the parallel passages in the book of 1 Samuel, we find Saul’s insecurities growing at the same rate as David’s accomplishments. When David entered Jerusalem after slaying Goliath and ending Israel’s war against the Philistines, women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with dancing and singing. While dancing, they sang a song that spurred Saul into a jealous fit: “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.” (1 Samuel 18)

Saul’s proud smile disappeared. The song infuriated him. His anger bore a new giant within his heart, a threat mightier than the 9-foot slain Philistine: burning jealousy.
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The Hebrew word used in this passage for the kind of anger Saul experienced is revealing. It is “charah,” which, according to the Hebrew Lexicon, means “to burn, be kindled, be incensed, glow with anger, grow indignant; to act zealously.” Charah is not just any type of anger. Its deeper meaning conveys the fire of anger that burns right after it is ignited. In other words, it conveys the type of anger followed by an impulsive response. Charah portrays Saul exploding with anger –a reaction before any sense of self-control or restraint could be processed.

I understand King Saul too well.

When I was younger, fear and insecurity brought about many impulsive actions and decisions. As I’ve grown older, however, self-awareness and God’s wisdom in Scriptures have helped me strike the right balance between not acting at all and acting impulsively, repeatedly.

But how can we master our impulses? I don’t believe we can do it on our own. We can start by asking God to reveal what triggers our responses and help us heal. We must also seek to know ourselves better, thus developing awareness of what generates our anger, lust, fear, or pride and deliberately dealing with it. That means we turn from whatever tempts us or seek to find our heart’s motives behind our anger.

I have also learned to take self-imposed time-outs… and pray before acting. When something or someone angers me, I silence, sometimes leave the room, and postpone the discussion. I then ask God for his wisdom and grace. It’s not that I never say anything in anger anymore; however, thankfully, moderation and self-control have become more prevalent than impulsive, regretful words or actions.

Saul had been chosen by God to be king, but we will never know the greatness destined for his reign because of bad decisions and reckless responses resulting from pride, insecurity, and fear.

Instead of a beacon of light to follow, Israel’s first king bore a series of character flaws to be avoided.

May it be a lesson for us all, lest we allow our passions, fear and pride to become the very instruments that forge our shackles … and ruin our future.

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LINKUP is open! This week, @patholbrook shares a strong message about the dangers of allowing impulsiveness, fear and pride to take over our decision-making. Joins us and share your blog!
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The post When Impulsiveness Generates Regret & Loss {Recharge Wednesday LINKUP} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

No matter how much we try to know, we don’t know it all. There are always opportunities we can’t see. The Lord is always at work on something we don’t even know needs work. It seems that knowledge, no matter how fervently we chase it, eludes us in some ways.

Relying too heavily on our limited knowledge leaves us with regrets…or at least in the position of having to decide between making choices based on what we know versus what we believe.

Have you had to make a choice that you knew was right but that you thought you would regret? I have. Over and over again.

A long time ago, I turned down a job offer. For a position I’d prayed for for years. Every bit of limited knowledge I had said “make it work,” that this was the opportunity I’d been waiting for. The Lord told me no. When I said yes to Him and no to the offer, I thought I would regret it soon.

The next day, another call came. Another offer. The same kind of position –but somewhere else with better hours and better pay (and what turned out to be amazing people.) And it came with the peace of the Lord.

All I had to do was wait one day. I couldn’t have known what was coming. I couldn’t have known that it could get better than that first offer seemed. I couldn’t have known that regret for a day would be erased by the Lord to make the slate clean.

Thank the Lord –He knew. Thank the Lord –He even washes our regrets anew!

That’s what happens when we regret and the Lord erases it. We take a slate that we’ve muddied and dirtied with doubt and with whole reliance on reason, and we toss it out. Regret makes it seem like there is no turning back and that slate is now useless forever. He erases it, He makes it clean.

Romans 8:27-28 tells us that “He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” (MSG)

Who would have thought that even our regrets could be used for the good of those who love Him?

Who would have thought that even our regrets could be used for the good of those who love Him?@BethanyMcIlrath
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For all the ways my knowledge fails me, I’ve found the Lord does not. Even when I fail. Even when my choices seem backwards, but right. He erases regret because regret it about my way –and when that slate is clean, He makes beautiful works of art that are better than anything I could ever dream.

Today I’m glad I turned down that job.

I’m glad that money has kept us at times from making decisions to do things more “typically” because we’ve had some amazing relationships out of it. I’m glad for some of my worst moments because, without some of the mistakes and brokenness I’ve regretted, I would never have let people into my heart as far as I have. These are some of my anti-regrets. These are what keep me saying “Yes, Lord” when I want to say “no.”

{A version of this post was previously published elsewhere}

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LINKUP is open! Today, @BethanyMcIlrath challenges us: even big regrets work together for the good of those who love Him. Join us & share your blog!
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The post God Erases Our Regrets {Recharge Wednesday Linkup} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.