The Church School Journal is a Bible student’s magazine originally printed in 1910, which includes various commentary illustrations intended to be used by Sunday School teachers and preachers. While browsing this timeless gem, I came across a story told by Henry Ward Beecher that beautifully illustrates the power of self-control.

Beecher was an American preacher and social reformer, who lived in 19th-century New York state. He is known for his support of the abolition of slavery, his emphasis on God’s love and his highly publicized divorce case. He was the son of Lyman Beecher, a Calvinist minister who became one of the most renowned evangelists of his era.

While recalling an experience that impacted him as a young man, Beecher told of a time when his father exemplified remarkable self-control.

A man had come to their house “red with wrath,” he recalled. The man had a grievance against his father. Beecher watched as his father listened to the man with “great attention and perfect quietness,” until “he had got it all out.” His father then said in a soft and low tone, “Well, I suppose you only want what is just and right?” The man said: “Yes,” but then went on to state the case all over again.

Beecher continued: “Very gently, father said to him: ‘If you have been misinformed, I presume you would be perfectly willing to know what the truth is?’ The man agreed. Then father very quietly and gently made a statement on the other side, and when he was through, the man got up and said, ‘Forgive me, doctor, forgive me.’ Father had beaten him by his quiet, gentle way. I saw it and it gave me an insight into the power of self-control.” Beecher concluded: “It was a striking illustration of the passage, ‘He that ruleth his spirit [is better] than he that taketh a city.’”

As I read the story, I could not help but think of people who have experienced the end of several relationships because they refuse to control their tongues. As I spoke to one of them recently, I heard these disheartening words:

“This is who I am. I am too old to change. People should know that I speak my mind.”

What a trap.

People around them certainly know that they speak their mind. How can one miss it? But that does not mean they must accept it.

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is to believe that they can say anything – however unkind it may be – to their children, especially as they get older.

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is to believe that they can say anything - however unkind it may be - to their children. #Selfcontrol #MondayMotivation @AJC
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“I am their father/mother,” they say. “I am just being honest.” “Honor thy father and mother, the Bible says. They must honor me!” (even though I just crushed their spirit, they should add.)

The same parents who use the fifth commandment as an excuse to verbally abuse their children turn a blind eye to another instruction, given by the Apostle Paul to the Ephesian church: “Parents, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.” (Ephesians 6:4)

If one command or instruction must be followed, so must the other. Parents who want to be honored should also be careful not to anger their children with careless “words of truth”.

If one command or instruction must be followed, so must the other. Parents who want to be honored should also be careful not to anger their children with careless 'words of truth'. #Selfcontrol #MondayMotivation #Mondaydevotional #AJC
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I find it especially interesting that, when the apostle Paul listed the well-known “fruit of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-23) in his epistle to the church in Galatia, he listed “self-control” as the last item on the list:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Self-control is indeed the cherry on top in a life governed by love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness and gentleness. If one lacks the last, his heart cannot be filled with the others.

Self-control is indeed the cherry on top in a life governed by love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness and gentleness. If one lacks the last, his heart cannot be filled with the others. #MondayDevotional #Selfcontrol
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I don’t agree that anyone is too old to change harmful behaviors. That is an excuse used by those who either do not want to change or are too proud to admit when they are wrong.

May Beecher’s story remind us that God can help us find the grace to treat those we disagree with in an honoring and respectful way. Lest we lose our testimony or, worse yet, end our days in complete loneliness.

This article was originally published in Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Saturday, April 27, 2019.

The post When You Lack Self-Control {The Atlanta Journal Constitution} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

Post by: Christy Mobley

The other night I dreamt the house was on fire. I sat straight up in the bed and like a blind person groping for a fire extinguisher my hand fumbled about the bedside table knocking stuff over until…

Ahhh, I found it! Gaviscon.

One swig of the cool-minty-green liquid and the fire was out. At least for the moment.

If you haven’t already guessed, yeah I have that insidious, nasty acid reflux! The term even sounds caustic. Acid. Reeee-flux.

This condition has been a bug-a-boo for me on and off most of my adult life. It was for my dad too.

Thanks Dad! (God rest his beloved soul.)

Lately the fire in my esophagus has been of the three alarm variety.

Why am I telling you this?

If you think it’s because I’m over fifty and over-fifty people talk about their ailments all the time (even though we do), that is not the reason.

Here is the reason:

I know certain foods cause me to have flare-ups. And because I know which ones are the culprits its stands to reason I would want to stay away from said evil. Yes? Why would I want to mess with my menu?

I’ll tell you why.

As I put distance between myself and my last episode of “towering inferno” I start to once again feel confident in my indulging without consequence. And once again I stray into dangerous territory.

I say to myself…

I think I can handle it.

This time will be different.

I’m different.

I’m stronger now.

That one slice of pizza won’t bother me. I mean what’s the harm in a little chocolate or yummy garlic bread or the pesto jam jar from the Nordstrom’s Bazille cafe…

And then as if blindsided, like, oh my goodness I can’t believe this is happening to me again!, I find myself rummaging through the medicine drawer for another Zantac, Tums or Gas-X, to ease the bloat in my gut and the distress in my chest.

Not a pretty picture.

I’m confessing this to you because isn’t this what we do with sin?

We know what our temptations are. We know what gets us into trouble. I don’t need to give you a multiple choice list, you and I both know what our weaknesses are, just as well as I know which foods make me sick.

Somehow when things have been calm for a time, we begin to get proud, telling ourselves, “I can handle this.”  We follow our temptation deeper and deeper into the woods until we are the point of no return. It all feels innocent enough at first, until once again we fall into the pit of uncomfortable consequences.

Oh my goodness, the travesty.

But God in his infinite wisdom and grace knows how we are and has provided tools to help us,—to protect us from ourselves.

1. God gave us memories for a reason and not just pleasant ones. Don’t allow distance to cloud them. Sometimes it is imperative to remember the bad stuff. If we recall the pain of a previous experience, we are less likely to go there again. It’s called wising up.

2. Call out to God for help. His word tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not allow you to be tested beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you an endure it.”

3. Realize we are apt to rationalize our way out of saying no to our temptations. We can deceive ourselves better than anyone else. “The heart is deceitful above all things…”Jeremiah 17:9. Please know I’m preaching to the choir. That’s exactly why I love this verse…such an eye opener.

How many uncomfortable situations will we get ourselves into, how many people will we hurt or how many disruptions will take place in our homes or at work before we learn we will never conquer our weakness by our own power and might?

And how many times will I knock the water glass off the nightstand reaching for the Gavascon to put out the unnecessary fire in my gut?
All because I continue to mess with the menu…

“Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left, keep your foot from evil.” Proverbs 4:26-27

Looking forward, pressing on and seeking God in every bump and twist in the road.

Christy 

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