Several weeks ago, I wrote a column about how true friendships are tested in times of trouble. Later that week I ran across an amusing quote from an unknown author, which reminded me of the message conveyed in my article. The quote said: “Do you want to find out how many friends you have? Throw a party. Now if you want to find out how many true friends you have, simply get sick.”

It is unquestionably true that faithful friends reach out to help us during times of great sorrow and loss. But today I want to discuss another gauge by which one can measure the sincerity of their friendships.

I recently watched an online video by professor Dr. Leandro Karnal, where he addressed the test of a true friendship from a different perspective. He said that if one needs to find out who their true friends are, they should not disclose their burdens. “After all,” he said, “most human beings are able to offer empathy for the sick and hurting.”

He then shared a comical story of how he supposedly invited some of his best friends for dinner, where he shared the wonderful things that were happening in his life. His professional success, financial abundance, and the blessings of a great marriage and children were among the subjects he bluntly bragged about. While sharing the good news, he carefully watched his friends’ reactions.

According to his testimony, several friends seemed genuinely happy while listening to his story. But others didn’t have the same response. He witnessed fake smiles, uncomfortable silence, and even contempt. One of his friends went as far as saying: “It’s a shame your success won’t last long.”

Whether Karnal’s “Friendship Test” actually happened or it was meant as a illustration, the sad truth is that many of us have had the same experience of finding out that a friend, whom we genuinely loved, resented our success. Not long ago, that factor became a new paradigm by which I measure the depth of my friends’ loyalty.

I am not famous, by any means. My sphere of influence is small compared to many writers and speakers in the growing market of Christian influencers in America and in the world. However, in the past few years, my ministry has gained increasing exposure in both secular and Christian environments.

As God started blessing my professional efforts, I have certainly experienced both sides of the friendship spectrum. Several of my friends continually cheer me on, excited to see what God is doing in my life. But unfortunately, I have also witnessed the very opposite reaction, as some people I thought were my true friends clearly resented, diminished, ignored, and even mocked my accomplishments.

Although realizing that some people we love are not our true friends is certainly a hurtful process, it nevertheless brings forth a valuable lesson that we should teach our children and guard in our hearts with zeal.

And the lesson is this: Jealousy and true friendship are the pinnacle of contradiction. As King Solomon recorded in the book of Proverbs: “A true friend loves at all times.” And true love was best described by the apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthian church: Among other things, love does not envy and is not self-seeking. True friends reach out when we are hurting, but also rejoice when we succeed. Anything less than that is counterfeit friendship, and we are better off without.

Jealousy and true friendship are the pinnacle of contradiction.
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Patricia Holbrook is a Christian author, blogger and International speaker. Her Book Twelve Inches is on sale at Barnes & Nobles, Amazon and retailers worldwide. Visit her website www.soaringwithHim.com. Email pholbrook@soaringwithHim.com

The post Friendship & Envy – The Pinnacle of Contradiction {Atlanta Journal Constitution} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

On the day scheduled for the big party, the son arrived at the venue, excited to celebrate the beginning of adulthood with his friends. As the hour progressed, however, he was surprised to realize that only 15 friends had actually showed up. He turned to his dad, frustrated: “I gave you a list of 50 of my friends, Dad! How come you invited only 15?”

The father grinned. “I invited all 50 of your friends to come, son. When I extended the invitation, however, I told them you were in need of their help, and asked them to meet you here today. Only these showed up. Look at their faces. Remember their names. These are your true friends.”

My sister told this parable as we drove around the beautiful island of Florianopolis in South Brazil during my visit earlier this week. Her illustration perfectly fitted a true story I had just told her about my recent experience concerning my friends back home in Atlanta.

In the beginning of January, my husband lost his job of 12 years after a workforce reduction initiative in his former company. We are thrilled that he was offered a great new position in the beginning of May, but as in any valley that we cross in life, there are lessons we learned through these past months. Of all of the blessings we have watched God pour onto our lives as we waited for a new door to open, one stands out: We have learned that the few people we call friends are truly our friends.

I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love during these four months. Two couples and their families surprised us at home with dinner, the night after my husband lost his job. One of these couples drove over an hour on a weeknight to be there for us. Each one of the guys pulled my husband aside to offer to help in any way.

A prominent executive at a large firm stopped in the middle of his international travel schedule to have lunch with my husband and introduce him to another executive, in an attempt to expand my husband’s network.

Texts came in daily. Phone calls never ceased. Words of encouragement and many prayers were offered on our behalf.

Had we not gone through this valley, we would have missed the lesson: “There’s a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” the Proverb says. We were blessed to find out that is true to the few people we consider our friends.

The lesson the father taught his son in the parable is an important one. Because when life happens — and it will — and we find ourselves in the valley, everyone needs a few good friends. But the other side of the lesson is that each of us must strive to be a good friend to someone. Because the difference between feeling lost in our troubles or keeping our hearts anchored in hope, can sometimes be simply one phone call away.

Patricia Holbrook is a Christian author, blogger and International speaker. Her Book Twelve Inches is on sale at Barnes & Nobles, Amazon and retailers worldwide. Visit her website www.soaringwithHim.com. Email
pholbrook@soaringwithHim.com

The post Friends Are a Blessing in Troubled Times {Atlanta Journal Constitution Column} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.