She talked about the moment God told her to marry him. She knew that she knew: the man was her “chosen one.”

Problem was… he was not a believer. Not even close. As a matter of fact, he was devoted to a very different religion.

Words came out of her mouth at a speed that made my head hurt. She went on and on about how she believed God had chosen her to evangelize the man. She just knew it! She gave me bible verse and told me stories, talked about divine encounters and signs. No one would convince her otherwise. She was to marry the man. And thus, my new friend said “yes” and became his wife.

At the time this happened, we were only acquaintances and I was a new believer, but I remember thinking… If this is really God’s will, why do you need to justify it to me – a stranger, practically? If this is truly God’s will, why are you so agitated?

This happened years ago and I’ll never forget it.

The marriage did not last.

He did not change his beliefs, and my friend ended up experiencing betrayal, loss, and unthinkable brokenness.

When she told me they were divorcing, I could not help but remember our first conversation, and how odd it seemed to me that someone I barely knew felt the need to justify her decision to me, a stranger. But the tragic end of the relationship was only a confirmation of what I wish my friend had understood before it was too late:

She was heading outside of God’s will and, deep down inside, she knew it.

For the past couple of months, I have been writing a blog series: Six Signs You Are Heading in the Wrong Direction. If you missed the first five signs, you can find links to the previous blogs at the end of this post.

Today I want to talk about the last sign that may indicate you are headed in the wrong direction, away from God’s best for your life:

Sign #6 – You find yourself justifying your decision, repeatedly.

I will be the first one to confess that, just like the previous signs I wrote about, I also know this one from personal experience. I too found myself justifying a (wrong) decision out loud in the past, as if I owed an explanation to everyone around.

So, I get it! Truly – It’s not that we think people are fools and cannot see our motives. Truth is – we cannot see it clearly ourselves. We become blind by the desire of our flesh, and try to convince ourselves and others that God is blessing our decision.

We want it our way… and think that if we act as attorneys defending our own plans, God will be convinced. It’s a foolish, but oh-so-human thing to do!
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Therefore, if you find yourself feeling the need to justify a certain decision or behavior out loud, you may want to reconsider it. Stop for a moment and sift it through the grid that engulfs each message in this blog series:

Sign #1 – Does your decision give you peace… or are you restless about it?

Sign #2 – Are you so busy that your time spent seeking God is suffering? You cannot hear Him clearly if you don’t spend quality time with Him.

Sign #3 – Does your decision align with, or contradict Scriptures?

Sign #4 – Are godly friends concerned about your decision? Are you dismissing their counsel?

Sign #5 – Are you procrastinating obedience? Has He told you to do something and you just pressed on to the next thing in your own agenda?

And lastly – today’s message:

Do you find yourself justifying your decision to people you love (and sometimes to strangers, even?)

It should never be our place as brothers and sisters in Christ to judge other people’s decisions. I know that God is certainly not a cookie-cutter God, and that He does act in mysterious ways. But we can count on this truth:

God will never tell us to do something that goes against His Word and character. Furthermore, the principles of peace... or restlessness, blessing... or curse, will always indicate if we are on the right path - Deuteronomy 28.
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“And the work of righteousness will be peace, and the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.” Isaiah 32:17

I just love this verse! It is a perfect Word for the end of this blog series. These powerful, blessed Trio should be the strongest indicators that we are living in the center of God’s will. They should reign in our lives, every time we make a decision:

The work of Righteousness, which is Peace.

And the service of righteousness, which are enduring Quietness of spirit… and Confidence that what we are doing pleases our God.

Unshakable Peace, Quietness of Spirit and enduring Confidence.

If you do not have these, stop wherever you are, and do not move forward, until your heart finds them.

And if this Trio is not present, it may just be time to do a one-eighty… and head back to the center of God’s will, before it is too late.

Unshakable Peace, Quietness of Spirit and enduring Confidence. If you do not have these, stop wherever you are, and do not move forward, until your heart finds them.
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Thank you for reading this blog series! May you always be determined to live in the center of God’s will. That is indeed life at its best, on this side of eternity.

If you would like to read the other messages on this Blog Series, click below to visit each blog post:

Blog Series: Six Signs You Are Heading in the Wrong Direction

Sign # 1 – You have no peace about your decision

Sign # 2 – An Overwhelming Schedule

Sign # 3 – Your Decisions and Actions Contradict Scriptures

Sign # 4 – Dismissing Godly Counsel

Sign # 5 – Delaying Obedience

The post Sign #6 – When You Repeatedly Justify Your Decision {Blog Series: Six Signs You Are Heading in the Wrong Direction} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

For the past several weeks, I have been writing a blog series titled “Six Signs You Are Heading in the Wrong Direction.” This week, Sign #4 was on my weekend column for the Atlanta Journal Constitution (AJC). If you need to catch up and read the first 3 signs, just follow the links at the end of this post.

As always, thank you for stopping by!

Patricia

He was supposed to be at war, but, instead, he sent Joab to lead the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites.

Night falls, and the king cannot sleep. So, he goes to the roof of the palace, where he sees a beautiful woman bathing. Instead of looking away, his gaze lingers, and lust sets in his heart. David then calls for Bathsheba, the wife of one of his faithful soldiers. He sleeps with her, and she conceives a child.

In a twist and turn of events that rivals the plot of any best-selling novel, David invites Uriah, the betrayed husband, into the palace, eats and drinks with him, and eventually orders the army’s general to send the poor guy to the frontline and withdraw all help, so that the man could be easily killed in battle. Thus, a merciless, cunning, evil plot stained the beautiful life story of the king that God called “a man after my own heart.”

For thousands of years, David’s life has been one of the most highlighted stories in Scriptures: The lion-killing, giant-slaying young boy, appointed king because of the purity of his heart and faithfulness to his God. The mighty, conquering king, who slipped and fell into a spiraling wave of sins — from adultery to lies to murder. The repentant man, who cried out to God in anguish, seeking his forgiveness and redemption. The forgiven king, who realized his mistakes, turned his life around and got back on track, following God’s plan until the end of his days.

When we come to this part of David’s story, there is no doubt: The king was heading in the wrong direction. He could certainly have avoided the first sin by looking away, and yet, he gave in. That was his first misstep. Instead of stopping there, he used his kingly authority to lie with a married woman — the second step on the wrong road. He could have stopped there. But he went on. Lying. Killing.

All along, David knew better. Deep down, he knew he was wrong. But he dismissed the signs: the lack of peace and anxiety that flooded his heart … God’s commandments that had been broken. Indeed, he was blinded by lust and pride, determined to get his way. That’s when God, in his mercy and grace, sent David one last chance: Nathan, the prophet.

Nathan was not a stranger to the king. He was the one who announced the covenant God made with David, to build an eternal dynasty for his house, wherein Messiah would come. Nathan was involved in the music of the temple, one of David’s passions. Nathan knew David. And, as good friends (and prophets) do, he did not withhold the truth. Nathan told it like it was.

An old Jewish proverb says: “A friend is one who warns you.”
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I could not agree more.

I look back and reminisce the times I was heading in the wrong direction, either missing or ignoring signs, when someone close to me was used as a lighthouse, shedding light on the path I had chosen. Their wise insights opened my eyes to see dangers, rebuked sin, or answered my prayers. Those situations have made me sensitive and humble to listen to the voice of wise friends, and inspired me to become that same voice in the lives of the people I love.

Conversely, we do have to be careful, because many times people will give us wrong and unwise advice. There are undoubtedly those so-called friends who “tell it like it is” out of jealousy or unkindness. We can easily identify those. However, when a kind, wise and godly person points out that something we are doing is either unwise or simply wrong, as uncomfortable and unsettling as it may be, it is wise to leave our pride aside and listen carefully.

Just as it happened to King David, they may just be a tool God is using to bring us back to our senses, turn us around, and save us from a lifetime of headache and loss.

Before dismissing them as nosy, let us think again. They may be our last warning sign.

This article was originally published on Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution on Saturday, April 14th, 2018.

If you would like to read the other messages on this Blog Series, click below to visit each blog post:

Blog Series: Six Signs You Are Heading in the Wrong Direction

Sign # 1 – You have no peace about your decision

Sign # 2 – An Overwhelming Schedule

Sign # 3 – Your Decisions and Actions Contradict Scriptures

Sometimes it's hard to know if we are in the center of God's will. In this blog series, you can read about 6 signs that you may be heading in the wrong direction. Check it out!
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The post Sign #4 – Dismissing Godly Counsel {Blog Series: Six Signs You Are Heading in the Wrong Direction} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

Whenever we got together, my husband, sister-in-law and I did most of the talking. Donnie would sit down, quietly, rarely offering insight to what was being discussed. But when he did, everyone would listen. Donnie was usually funny, quick, and right to the point. You did not have to wonder what he really thought.

And that was one of my favorite things about him.

One day we were discussing a situation, and he offered a comment that made me laugh out loud at the time. But since then, I have often repeated the maxim, realizing the deep (and sad) truth behind it:

“God is often blamed for things He never said,” Donnie said, in his matter-of-fact tone.

Since that day, many times have I witnessed people saying or doing things that they believed God told them to do or not to do that I knew, right away, could not have come from God.

Each time it happens, I can’t help but think about what Donnie said.

Now, before you grab a stone to throw my way, let me make myself clear: I do not spend my days criticizing people, judging their beliefs and love for God. But you and I can certainly know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, when certain things that are said or done are not from God.

Why?

Because they absolutely go against Scriptures.

In this blog series, I have been presenting six signs that I believe (from personal experience) that indicate you may be heading outside of God’s will. You can follow the links to read the first two posts on this series: Sign Number One and Sign Number Two.

This third sign seems to be so obvious, and still, Satan uses it all the time against believers. Here it goes:

Sign #3: When your decisions and/or actions contradict Scriptures.

Let’s face it: You and I can be very sneaky sometimes.

We all have tried to deceive ourselves in the past into believing that our sin was acceptable, even God-honoring.  Whether it’s justifying why we cannot forgive someone, honor our parents, get in a love relationship with an unbeliever, put an end to an immoral relationship, you name it – most of us have compromised the truth of the Bible, calling sin a good thing.

There is no question that there are decisions we make and certain subjects concerning God’s will for our lives that are much more subjective. The Bible does not tell me what I should do next in my ministry, or whether I should take that job or not. Answers such as these must be sought out in prayer, and by waiting for the “peace that surpasses all understanding” that we discussed on “Sign Number One” of this series.

But please, let us not fool ourselves or try to fool others into accepting our fleshly claims as God-honoring. People who have walked with Jesus long enough may not say anything, but they can see beyond our masks and hear the message beyond our words.

I don’t have to be a scholar to know that certain things are completely against God and His nature. They are our flesh screaming. When it comes to certain principles of Scripture, It’s either black… or white.
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And at some point in time, we must choose where we stand. It’s best we just own it: We want it our way, rather than attributing our unholy or unwise decisions as instructions from a Holy God.

God will not tell us to stay committed to immorality – adultery and fornication are and will always be sin. (1 Corinthians 6:18)

God will not excuse us from honoring our parents – even when they hurt us in the past. Period. (Exodus 20:12)

God will not pat us in the back, saying: “It’s ok, sweetheart, you really don’t have to forgive them again.” Jesus said seven times seventy. But he really meant indefinitely, just in case you wonder. (Matthew 18:21-22)

God will not excuse ill treatment of our children, justified by the scars of our past. (Colossians 3:21)

As they say it in the South: “It ain’t happening, honey.” (You should really hear it with my Brazilian accent).

In each and every decision we make, we have to keep His Word as “a Lamp onto our feet and a Light onto our path.” That means we cannot take one single step by trampling all over His Word, and still think we can reach our God-given destiny.

Therefore, my friend, if whatever step you feel led to take… or whatever path you are currently taking, stains any clear direction or commandment that God has given us in His Word, my prayer is that you stop right now, and truly repent. Confess your wrong doing, turn around, and follow the Light provided so clearly in His Word. The Light that promises a path that leads you to His very best.

It may hurt… your pride, your heart, and even your pocket. But remember:

Remaining on a road that is not blessed by the Father is spiritual suicide.
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All you have to do is: 1) link your recent blog post, 2) tweet that you are joining us and 3) add our button to your blog (code is on the sidebar.) We will announce the winner on next week’s linkup!

LINKUP PARTY today opens at 6 am EST!

Christian Bloggers, come share your Blog with our audience below:

1. Add your Link.

2. Visit the blogger before or after and encourage them with a comment.

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LINKUP PARTY is open! Do your decisions align with Scriptures? Read the third sign on Patricia's blog series - Six Signs you are heading in the wrong direction - and share your post with us!
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The post Sign #3 – Your Decisions & Actions Contradict Scriptures {Blog Series: Six Signs You Are Heading in the Wrong Direction} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.

I started a new blog series last week: Six Signs You Are Headed in the Wrong Direction. Click HERE to catch up and read the first sign: “When you have no peace about a decision.”

Today, you will read my column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution newspaper, where a wrote about the second sign that may indicate that you may be on the way to miss God’s best: “An Overwhelming Schedule.”

I pray this series will bless you, and help someone who may be heading the wrong way and doesn’t even know it.

Love in Jesus,

Patricia

Sign #2 – An Overwhelming schedule

Dr. Charles R. Swindoll is an evangelical pastor, author, teacher and radio preacher. He is the author of over 70 books, and his radio program “Insights for Living” can be heard on more than 2,000 stations around the world. Swindoll has been an active pastor and accomplished author for over five decades, with an impressive list of accomplishments that gives us an idea of how busy the 83-year old pastor has been.

In his book “Stress Fractures,” Swindoll tells the story of what happened in his life several years earlier, when his children were still small. He said he found himself with too many commitments on his calendar. He was constantly nervous, snapping at his wife and children, eating meals hurriedly and feeling irritated with inevitable, unexpected interruptions throughout the day. He recalls, “Before long, things around our home started reflecting the patter of my hurry-up style. It was becoming unbearable.” He proceeds to tell the story of one particular incident that God used to shake him out of the busyness trap that threatened to destroy his life and family:

“I distinctly remember after supper one evening, the words of our younger daughter, Colleen. She wanted to tell me something important that had happened to her at school that day. She began hurriedly, ‘Daddy, I wanna tell you somethin’ and I’ll tell you really fast.’

“Suddenly realizing her frustration, I answered, ‘Honey, you can tell me — and you don’t have to tell me really fast. Say it slowly.’ I’ll never forget her answer: ‘Then listen slowly.'”

Even though the story happened several decades ago, it could not be more relevant for our current day. Gone are the days when extreme busyness was reserved to society’s overachievers, CEOs and leaders of large ministries across the globe. In this day and age, not only working parents, but also stay-at-home mothers run from one commitment to another, filling their short intervals of quietness with social media and constant noise.

Indeed, most of us can relate to Swindoll’s story. I know I can. Not many years ago, God also used something my daughter said to wake me up from an over-busy spell. My priorities were jumbled, and my health and family were suffering. I knew I had to start “listening slowly.”

But there is a most crucial relationship that also suffers when we don’t take the time to listen slowly: our relationship with God.

While trying to impart life principles to our teenage daughter, one of the things my husband and I have strived to convey from our experience is that God has a purpose for each of our lives, but it takes listening carefully and patiently, expectantly waiting for him to reveal his path for his children. For Christians, spending time in prayer and studying Scriptures are the steps to discern his direction and will for our lives.

God is not interested in fast-food religion. He wants us to deliberately pause all other activities, and sit quietly with Him, waiting for the six-course meal He has prepared for us.
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It takes time. It takes the right perspective, and, first and foremost, it takes realigning our priorities.

Swindoll’s story made me think. I wonder what would have happened in this man’s life had he not, early in his career, accepted his daughter’s quiet admonition as wake-up call from God himself. What would have happened, had he not realized that overworking for God does not replace developing a relationship with Him. I wonder whether his busyness would have wrecked, not only his career, but also his family. It’s a sober thought.

Indeed, when we realign our hearts to stop and “listen slowly,” God speaks. Because He won’t shout over the crowds. His voice is often a whisper. Therefore, just as gently as a child’s voice fades away when she realizes her opinions and stories do not matter to her parents, our lack of interest or time for God silence Him, and we find ourselves stumbling our way through life, too busy to listen to the Voice that tells us where to turn.

This article was originally published in Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal Constitution (AJC) on Saturday, March 17, 2018.

Six Signs You Are Headed in the Wrong Direction ~ Blog Series ~ Sign #2 - An Overwhelming Schedule
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The post Sign #2 – An Overwhelming Schedule {Blog Series: Six Signs You Are Heading in the Wrong Direction} appeared first on Soaring With Him Ministries.